Struggling today...

Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Struggling today...
19
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 8:25pm

Hey everyone...

I'm having a rough one today...

Its been another rough couple of weeks... Joey's daycare is closing (they told us two weeks ago and it closes next Friday--no notice)... and I've been on the rollar coaster of how can they do this on such short notice... to the hope of registering (or at least putting myself on a wait list) at the daycare that my daycare has recommended... to get a call from them yesterday saying that they did not have any space available and would not be able to help us out (and my panicking--trying to let go of the situation, releasing it as it is out of my hands)... to finally doing that last night... to get a call from the daycare that had told us yesterday there were no spaces to hear that they were looking at all the children they were turning down and there is enough of them to make a new class... so that's what they'll be doing... whew... huge sign of relief... one hurdle over...

Then I go to see my boss for my review... we do this monthly, so we both stay right on top of what each other is thinking... the problems we may be having... things we can improve on, etc... I have a good relationship with my boss and can say anything to him... it is a very open relationship... and after going through all my performance things, which all received glowing reviews, we attempted to discuss a scheduling issue that is going to rear its ugly head very soon...

This issue actually started back in March, when our season schedules were assigned... with five years on the job, I am still the low man on the totem pole in my position, not skill level wise, but seniority... I wound up with a schedule that will work on every day but one day... and the reason it will not work is because it is the one day a week that my Mom cannot pick up Joey because she has to work late. The after school program at his pre-K will be over at 6 pm and I get off at 6, at least a half hour away... I have been discussing this issue with my boss, the other manager from the department and the director of the department since it started in March... '

The initial scheduling meeting was quite intimidating and was a cluster you know what... I left the meeting without choosing a schedule, since none of them would work for me, but instead having one assigned... I left the meeting and cried for about two hours, unable to believe that this company and department that I had worked for several years was doing this. I like my job and like what I do...

I have told them that I need to get off at 5 on Thursday... that I would be willing to make up the time any other day, by working early or late... but they are completely unwilling to budge. They say that they have to treat all of us the same and cannot show favoritism because I have a child. If they let me re-arrange my schedule because I have a child, they will have to let X take off early because he wants to play softball at this time and Y off early because she has to wash her dogs (boss' words exactly)... They are expecting me to put my job before my family, even though I am one of the top performers and am willing to do whatever to have that one hour off... however they are completely unflexible... although my boss promises that things will be better in 2007... (my response was, sure it will be, if you have any employees left)...

In the meantime, management has advised that I can take an hour of my vacation for each Thursday that I need to leave early... I feel that this is punishing me for having a child, knowing that this would not even be an issue in any other department and this request has been laughed at by friends in other departments who feel this is ridiculous... I do not feel that this is a reasonable offer--it would involve me using almost a full week of vacation (throughout the course of the year) just so I could pick up my son from school... and they say its going to get better... but when? how? they can't give details or a date, so why should I believe them?

The thing is, that this brings back my feelings of anger with my divorce and my xh. The reason why I have to get off earlier on Thursday is so I can pick up my child from school... my xh has washed is hands of any responsibility with our son... has seen him twice in the past six months... is more than 10K in child support arrears (haven't gotten that tax refund YET)... and when I spoke to him several weeks ago about just needing a break and wanting to send Joey there for a few weeks so I could have a break was... you know my schedule will not allow for that... I mean, wtf? So there he is, able to do what he wants to do, when I cannot even seem to work for this company, where I've worked for almost 5 years, because of one hour on Thursdays?

I've applied for a position in another department... it isn't like this company wide, but I just submitted my application on Friday... but if I don't get it, I don't think that I'll have any choice but to resign... I really want to resign (as in tomorrow, if I hadn't applied for this other job)... on the other hand, I want this to work out--I want things to be better, but I can't be for certain that they will be... although, I did ask my boss if his gut feeling was things would improve and he said they would... but it won't be until 2007... which is a long ways away with school starting here in GA in mid-August...

Ladies, I truly don't know what to do... I don't want to quit, but I cannot work under these conditions... I give my all, stay when they need me to stay late, go the extra mile... but they're not willing to work it out... we've all ready lost two senior people (like myself) since March over this issue and they could quite easily lose another... plus, I leave and two others in my same position have all ready advised that they will not be there for long because they'll be overwhelmed with work... not to mention what it says about the entire department, expecting job over family...

I'd appreciate any thoughts, ideas, suggestions that you may have...

*hugs*

Julie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2006
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 8:59pm

Can you work without a lunch on that day and leave an hour early? what would be the difference of not taking a lunch or using an hour of vacation time?

Let me know.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 9:01pm

Awww, Julie!

*hugs*

My two cents is that you should immediately start looking for another job. Them not wanting to budge on one hour a week is ridiculous, and you deserve to have a job with a company that shows it cares about its employees.

I do believe that there are times when we know we need to get out of a situation but are too afraid or hesitant to for whatever reason, and that it gets taken care of for us. I think your boss saying no to that one hour and forcing you into a corner is it being taken care of for you because you either have to quit or take the chance that down the road they will stop being jerks.

You are a strong woman who has been taking care of business and providing a great home for you and your son and you will be okay. Maybe you need to just take the risk and see what else is out there for you.

You will be fine! :)

Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 9:40pm

This is another suggestion I've offered to them... or to make it up with taking two half hour lunches through the week... however, they are unwilling to bend... stating, if they do this for me, it appears as if they're giving me preferencial treatment which could then be turned around as discrimination, because they didn't work with another one of my equals who wound up leaving the company due to this same issue and her childcare issues...

This really shouldn't be this hard... that's all I keep thinking...

Thanks for the idea!

Julie

Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 10:00pm

Thanks Gwen...

The thing is that my boss and I never had these issues until our new director came into her position... she's been changing things left and right and it is getting noticed (and not in the best light) but our parent company... since I knew his management style beforehand, I tend to pin these issues on her, instead of him... he's also made some comments about things being her way or the highway with him too, as if his hands are tied... (see, I like him so much that now I'm trying to defend him... ugh...)

They've brought in a managerial consultant to try to help the situation (don't know if it really has or not)... we all had to give our feedback last week and management had a meeting this morning bright and early to discuss the issues...

Truthfully, if I get the other job in the other department, problem is solved... new group, with greater flexibility, better hours, more money... etc... And these "rules" don't exist in other departments...

I think I've decided to let it ride for another week or so... start looking through trade magazines to see if I notice any openings in the area (I really don't want to move--too much family support here)... hope and pray that the other position starts working out and being prepared to take action when the time comes...

The other position would be a great opportunity and more in line with my education and where I'd like to go... I have applied for positions in the department before, but have not been successful... it has been several years though (I was mid divorce the last time I applied and was optimistic, but when it didn't happen, I was under so much with the divorce, it felt more like a relief than anything else)... since the position has become available (by one of the team members getting promoted), one of the team members encouraged me to review the posting and see if it may be of interest... no promises, but she did say that she knew I had applied for positions within the department before but had not been selected... having not been selected in the past should not make me feel like I shouldn't apply (she continued) advising that my application would be taken seriously... another one of those team members called me the morning it was posted to let me know it had been posted... so, even though there aren't any guarantees (as I learned last summer), I certainly have to give it a try...

But you're right... sometimes we do stay in a position that is not right for us for too long for whatever reason... whether it is a job, relationship, location or many other things... we often stay there because truthfully, the situation hasn't gotten bad enough to force us to action to make whatever change is necessary ... perhaps this is my sign that they are getting there...

Anyway, I've rambled enough... thanks for your thoughts... I have a lot going through my head right now and it really helps to see and hear what others think...

*hugs*

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 10:27pm
Julie, Huge Hugs to you! I am sorry you are having a hard time. I wish I had the answer for you. I can tell you I took a job that pays over $5 less an hour so that I could be there for my children. Yes, money is tight, but I don't regret my decision at all. Hugs and Prayers, Brenda

Hugs, Brenda 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 11:29pm

Julie~


HUGE HUGS!

Hugs~ Lexi

"Shoot for the moon and if you miss you will still be among the stars" ~ Les Brown


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 12:14am

Here.... I'm giving you some "magic dust"!


This kind of thing makes me.... furious!


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 7:36am

Thanks Brenda...

I appreciate your support... Its tough, because I am a working mom who enjoys working and enjoys that time away from my son to do my job and then to come home at night and be mom... not that I'm not Mom while I'm at work, but you know what I mean...

I'm so torn and cannot believe how quickly this has all changed... I mean it started in March, but I've been there for several years and this was never an issue... always willing to work with us... it provided more trust and respect in both directions because they realized we were people with commitments outside of work and respected us for those commitments...

Thanks for the support... I'll keep you posted...

Julie

Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 7:48am

Thanks Lexi...

UGH... I do have family around, but my work would flip if I brought him to work... after all, how would he get up there--oh, I'd have to pick him up on my lunch hour... and then he'd be there from 2 until 6... which means 4 totally unproductive hours for me...

I do have family who could help out--heck, my mom picks him up from school every day but Thursday, which is why this isn't a bigger issue for me... my xil's are a possibility, but I feel that this is a bigger issue--them not willing to be flexible to their employees' needs...

OK, I've got to get to that lovely place I call work...

*hugs*

Julie

Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 7:50am

Thanks Karen, I appreciate the magic dust... Maybe if I worked with Tinkerbell, I'd have a better chance... I'll post more later, but I have to leave for that wonderful place I call work now...

*hugs*

Julie

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