STUCK

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2007
STUCK
11
Fri, 02-09-2007 - 4:09pm
I am not divorcing but think about it all the time. The only reason I stay is because I have to young children, a small income, and a LOT of guilt. I too cheated and am still cheating with someone I am very much in love with. My husband knows I cheated (doesn't know I am still) and still wants to try. I am not in love with my husband although he is a wonderful father and a "good husband", etc. He is a fine man, I'm just not in love with him. He mostly just gets on my nerves, and we fight a lot. I have no desire for sex with him. I come to bed late and get up early to avoid his advances and subsequent pouting. I could deal with it if he would stop having expectations I can't meet - that is, feeling for him what he feels for me. I just don't! But is that a sufficient reason to break up a family and destroy my kids? Am I completely selfish? He really does not deserve at all to be going through what I'm putting him through, and he is understandably miserable. I have no idea whatsoever what I should do or how this situation will be resolved. Another thing is that I am terrified that if we got divorced, I would realize later that I had something great and that I did love him after all, but it will be too late and I'll be a lonely, late 30s, single mother and divorcee. On 2/18 we will have been married 9 years.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
In reply to: lulapace
Thu, 02-15-2007 - 10:22pm
We went to our first session today...it went better than I expected, however, i'm not convinced...I've now committed to our next session (with a break from the drama over the weekend, going to seek refuge @ my girlfriend's house) on tuesday...beyond that, i'm completely unwilling to make promises if he's unwilling to consider making changes...i feel like I have to be tough, i've been so hurt for so long...i'm putting the pressure on him now, b/c if I don't...he'll waffle his way through this emotionally the way he's done it for soooo long....not ok!

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