Such a mess!
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Such a mess!
| Thu, 01-19-2006 - 4:57pm |
I have been lurking everyday but, haven't had much to contribute so I've been quiet for the last couple of months. I feel a little guilty just showing up for advice but, here I go anyway! Long story short (hopefully!) I was the one who asked stbx to move out a year ago and he did. He immediatly started seeing a girl "friend" of his and it really bothered me but, I had been there done that before and didn't take the bait. He knows that I am a jealous person and have taken him back before when he started dating someone else. Then she moved out of state and guess who comes knocking on my door again. A month later he needs a place to live because he is evicted and threatens to move out of state with her so I let him move in. I kept things distant but, a few times we did have sex. The whole time he was on the phone with her and even went to visit her but, kept telling me they were just friends, whatever. I did kind of believe him but, the reason we separated is because he is a big fat liar! So, I really didn't know what to think or feel. He lived with me for 2 months and then announced that he found a roomate to move in with and he moved out. I had a breakdown before the day before he moved out and told him it made me sad for him to leave again but, I thought it would be good for me to see him act independent for a change. We talked a lot and he told me he still loved me and only me and that he wanted us to get back together. I agreed but, told him I still needed time and needed to see him support himself. So, he moved out the next day. Things seemed a little wierd to me when he moved out and I found out through some detective work that his "friend" had moved back and he moved in with her. I even confronted him in her apartment and he still denied it. Finally, after our fight came to blows he did admit it but, said it wasn't a romantic relationship. OK this is getting long, sorry!! Anyway, after 2 months of craziness he moved out of her house and back in with me and back into marriage. The jealousy, and betrayal had such an opposite affect on me and made me so vunerable I could barely keep myself from being fired from work. We've been back together for 2 1/2 months and the first month was good but the rest has been business as usual. I'm miserable. Not to mention he has not stopped talking to the "friend" after I asked him to. He owes her money and she is p*ssed about him lying to her too so she's become somewhat of a stalker. Before you say anything I am in therapy, EVERY week, lol! I am going to ask him to leave soon but, I feel so freaking guilty for my son. I can't believe I'm going to do this to him again. Am I the worst mother in the world? I just can't believe I was so emotional and stupid. Why did I think I could be with someone who has treated me so crappy for the last year. I guess I just was looking to vent. I don't know if anyone else has been through this before. I just feel so stupid that I am going to have to go through another year of turmoil. Thanks for making it this far!
Jessica
Jessica


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Jessica (((hugs)))
Thanks for the advice, everything you said made total sense. I am going to therapy every week and have made the decision to tell him sometime next month. I want to work through some things in therapy and make sure I am not going to change my mind, AGAIN!! It's hard to have a new life we have been together for almost 13 years, since I was 17 years old and ds is 10. I've known him basically my whole adult life, so good or bad it's hard to have him out it's also really easy in some ways too! Thanks for sharing your story.
Jessica
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