Suggestions please!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Suggestions please!
4
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 2:09am

I would greatly appreciate suggestions on creative ways of dividing visitation during the summer months. Right now we do the standard every other weekend, and my STBX also watches my DD during the day since she is not in school yet (DD is 5, DS is 11).

My ex does not have a job so he's home a lot and will likely be watching both kids during the summer during the day when I am working, and then having them every other weekend.

Where I'm unsure of how to proceed is that he suggested a while back that he'd like to have them for a week or so during the summer. This is not unreasonable, but my DD does get upset when she is away from home for too long, even when she's at daddy's house. Maybe we could do several 3-4 day weekends instead of a full week?

Does anyone have any ideas of how we can do this? We really haven't discussed it much so there are no arguments so far. Also, we live maybe 10-15 minutes away from each other so taking the kids between houses is literally just driving them down the street.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2006
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 11:39am

Having JUST gone through this process like yesterday (literally!), and my DD has the same issues. I brought in an expert witness (child psych) to give her recommendations and for my DD (who will be 5 in Aug) she is to stay with him for 2 weeks once each summer month. However, since you both live so close to each other, I think you are right on track with long weekends. The kids will tell you what they feel comfortable with, it's when one parent is selfish and only wants what's best for THEM rather than the kids.

Maybe your DD can stay one or 2 long weekends (like thurs-sun) and DS can stay a week or 2 with dad.

Just a thought...

Lisa

boston.png Boston Girl image by EmmaLee192

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 2:58pm

Well, you can play it by ear to see how your youngest does.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 3:22pm

If it's just to have them for a week at home, the long weekends would be good for your dd. However, your ds should still do the week.

If it's for vacation purposes, that makes it more tricky. Since I was on the receiving end of having my x who was the NCP not allow us the time for a vacation, I tend to go on the side of the parent trying to take the vacation. (Yes, I let him do so, but he NEVER reciprocated. As a matter of fact, we took the kids when they went on their honeymoon. We let them have the kids when they got married KNOWING it was during our time with the kids. They agreed to take the kids when we went on our honeymoon. We got home from our wedding to a note on the door stating that the kids were not allowed at their home any more than the CO said that they had to be ever again.)


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 4:31pm

Thanks to you all for your input. We have been getting along pretty well recently and I think I'm going to take a stab at discussing it with him when I go to pick up DD tonight after work.

Wish me luck!