Suggestions Please!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2004
Suggestions Please!!
11
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 11:27am
Hi I have previously posted a message on another board (rather long) about my particular situation. But to make a long story short my husband is seeking on-line relationships and I would like to be able to print any email sent out or received and any chat that goes on. How can I do this?? Anyone know of any software I can purchase and install thats user friendly and undetectable?? Any other women with suggestions of making the best of the situation financially for myself?? Thanks any help or suggestions will be greatly appreciated!! Mas3900

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2003
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 12:14pm

First let me say I am sorry your going through this....

I do know of some software you can install that is undetectable that will record all AOL instant messenger conversations. It will also record Yahoo messenger convos too... I believe. I used it to get ahold of AOL convos and it worked for me. You can purchase it, but there is a free one as well... you can try it for 2 weeks for free.

http://www.bitsplash.com/img2/

That is the link to download. If you have any questions on how to use it, feel free to email me.... foster_angelena@yahoo.com

It sucks that we have to do this sometimes... but well worth it to know when someone is not being truthful. I hope you find the opposite, but know that we are here if you don't.

Hugs,

Angelena

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2005
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 1:23pm
If you really and truly know that he is then my suggestion is to dump him no man should feel that they can have the best of both worlds no matter what.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 2:52pm
It was my take by the OP that she wants to print them out for proof of such in a divorce. Word of warning to the OP, there are few states that will look at adultery as a grounds for your getting more out of a divorce or getting custody of children. However, there are individual judges who do not look kindly on this and will make their judgement accordingly even if they really aren't supposed to.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2003
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 3:17pm

idk about other states but in my case, I didn't need "proof" for a divorce they chose abandonment and the cause for divorce doesn't really matter, atleast not in NYS.... I think it is for her own personal knowledge. I would want to know for sure too... I can't say that it's right to snoop...but if you need to know, you need to know.

The im grabber program worked for me...it proved things and now that I know I am free to hate him all I want to ;)

Hugs,

Angelena

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 3:59pm

I've heard about a program called "keylogger" several times on the board.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2004
Sat, 01-22-2005 - 9:04am
Hi and ThanKyou for your reply! I will try it!! Yes it does suck and I wouldnt be doing this but Ive told him the other times hes done this that I didnt like it..The last time he put us thru this I told him I will file for divorce and I found out that he has been planning to meet someone he had been chatting with on-line while I was at work the day after Christmas...this was earlier this month. I just dont want to be the one who has to pay him ailimony because I make more $$ then he does and have for the last 9 years. And yes I admit that maybe Ive taken him for granted....but he needs to try to work 50 plus hours a week take care of the kids and keep the house in order, then he could see how tired he would be!! I just think that he knows that he cant make it on his own and he doesnt want to split up the kids...he just seems selfish and immature..I just dont love him like I used to its really time for me to move on and if he hasnt got the "Balls" to file for divorce then I will, but like I said I hope Im not the one left to regret it!! Thanks Again!! Mary
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2004
Sat, 01-22-2005 - 9:14am
Well I guess needing proof wasnt really a good way to put it, but I want to clarify the situation for myself and show it to him when Im done. Hes told me before that these women were taking their "chat" beyond friendship was all one sided, he never did anything to encourage them, they fell for him and he really doesnt know why! Give me a break I guess he thinks Im not only the most gullible person in the world and the dumbest!! Im finding him filling out profiles for Date.com and true.com Thats what really makes me angry hes pulling no stops to get these lonely desperate woman to see him, and he sounds so lonely and pitiful himself I just wish he would grow up !! Well sorry didnt want to get on my soap box but cant really confide in anyone cause I dont want him to find out IM doing this the divorce and all Thanks Mary
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2003
Sat, 01-22-2005 - 9:19am

I completely understand.

One way you can find out what he is doing is to check the internet history. You can see the sites he has been.

I'm sort of a puter wiz so if you need help, let me know.

Take care and good luck.

Angelena

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2004
Sat, 01-22-2005 - 9:36am
Hi Im not sure how to check internet history?? Thanks Mary
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2004
Sat, 01-22-2005 - 9:48am
Hi Karen and Thanks for your reply!! Well I have tried before to talk to him Ive told him how much it hurt me to know he was doing this behind my back while I was working. The last time which was Oct Or Nov 03...I asked him if he wanted me to change my work shifts, days etc so he wouldnt feel "lonesome" which was his excuse for going on-line! He said no, I also told him if he was feeling lonesome or taken for granted or waas un happy in any way with our marriage, with me what ever to PLease talk to me about it..do not look for support out side our marriage..I cant change or fix things if I dont know he has a problem. Anyway hes at it again, I just found it by mistake earlier this month and seems like hes been at it at least since Oct of this past year 2004...hes lying to me about being on the computer, if hes hiding things from me hes back to his deceitful ways I cant handle it anymore. But I make the $$ and have for the last 9 years and I truely believe he wants to keep me around so his lifestyle doesnt have to change and he can have my financial support and the kids.. and have a extra booty call when he feels like it. Thats just totally wrong and I plan to divorce him by the end of the year. Im not going to let him get away with it anymore, cause yes Ive threatend to leave him over this before the last time I told him I meant it so now IM going to SHOW him I mean it! Thanks for your kind words and suggestions! Mary

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