Superbowl weekend & the girlfriend

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2006
Superbowl weekend & the girlfriend
3
Mon, 02-05-2007 - 1:03pm

Just an update:

STBX paid for girlfriend to arrive here for superbowl weekend. He left on Friday to pick her up. I called him and we had a huge blow out. I knew he was bringing her to our house which the kids and I still resided. He had throughout the week began packing my stuff out of our bedroom. (I had been sleeping on the couch) He was cleaning and doing laundry like there was no tomorrow. The straw that broke the camels back was when he took a picture I had. One side of the pic had my grandparents the other side was STBX and myself. I had called and asked him where the pic was - he claimed he wanted the pic of me and him but had it buried away. That was it. I borrowed a box truck, called a few friends, and packed up everything in 3 hours.

Saturday-I'm at his nieces b-day party with the kids, guess who calls? STBX. Didn't answer. Called him later in the day. He's asking what's going on where am I staying. Tells me he still cares and that he still wants to go to a concert he had asked me to go to. I tell him I am in pain. I'm crying. He says he will call me Sunday.

Sunday-I'm at the store-didn't feel my phone vibrating. He leaves a vm that he wants to talk to the kids. I have my son call, he talks to the older one who passes the phone to the younger son. My son then gives the phone to me-STBX says "I didn't want to talk to you". I give the phone to my older son. It's almost like he's putting up a front asking the kids how hockey/basketball and what are they doing. I'm pretty sure OW was sitting next to him thinking what a great dad.

Today-She is going home later today. He calls me asking how we are working out the 35 mile commute I'm going to have to make to cart the kids to school. I'm trying really hard not to change schools until June. Asking me what's going on at work (we work closely together). I tell him I have to pay $500 for daycare for the last 3 weeks. He asks "Do you want 1/2?" GEE-no let me pay it all since you've spent $1200.00 between 1/10/07 and 2/5/07 on the skank. Then he says I guess I should start paying you CS. GEE-again let take the brunt of the expenses.

Moral of the weekend - I called my attorney. She is filing the Court order for CS and alimony. He really gave me a hard time a month ago about the alimony and how he doesn't think he should pay since I work for my father and I can give myself a raise. I feel bad about the alimony but my attorney says she is in charge and I will thank her in 5 years. My father wants to get rid of him. My STBX thinks he is irreplaceable. All his friends have told him he was crazy.

It's crazy, but even after hearing from a good friend that she say them in town at a restaurant (so I know he brought her to the house on Saturday and probably today). I still feel sorry for him. When will I stop? I hope once I move into my place later this month I can move on.

Sorry for the long post - it feels good to write and re-read to myself.

Brenda
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
Mon, 02-05-2007 - 1:31pm

Sounds like you are handling as well as you can.

And FYI, while adultery doesn't buy you much in terms of CS and alimony, wasting marital assets (community funds spent on girlfriend) IS something that he can get penalized for in a settlement. If you have proof, be sure your attorney has it.

Mine was with his SH also, funny how he is such a great day but his kids have no father.

Mary

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Mon, 02-05-2007 - 5:36pm

I never cease to be amazed at how STRONG so many of the people (ok, women) on this board are! You are awesome! Turning around in a matter of hours and getting a truck and friends and getting moved out of your place! Standing up for your integrity! Way to go! What strength and courage.

As for the other 1/2 of the equation ... they (ok, men in these circumstances) never cease to amaze me with their hutzpah (sp?) and self-absorbtion and self-deception (he still cares??!!!).

Ok, so I am speaking for myself, but I am applauding you!

You go, girl!

M

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 6:06pm

You don't know how valuable that statement you just made really is:


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~