Support for a friend?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Support for a friend?
1
Fri, 08-01-2008 - 7:21pm

Hi, there. I am hoping you all can help me. I am a happily married woman with a good friend going through a divorce and I am trying so hard to help her--but I think I am at a loss since I just haven't been in that situation. So I thought I'd come to ask for any advice you can give me to help her through this.

It's all fairly new--he left in May for another woman, leaving behind their three small children, 3 and under. It was a complete surprise, side-blinded her and now she is having to go through the stuff you all have gone through to fight for her kids and do what is right, while tearing her insides out.

He has been at least decent on custody issues thus far, they are hammering out financial details. They just ordered co-parenting counseling for them, which she is dreading (being in the same room with him is not her idea of a good time!!)--it was his idea and she is trying to look at it in a good way that maybe it will help to get rid of some of the issues that are still plaguing them.

Friends and I are making her some meals, treating her to a surprise birthday dinner and really just listening and trying to be supportive. I, for one, am really frustrated with the slowness of the whole system and just wish it would speed up. There are so many meetings which are just agonizing for her.

So...any way to speed this process up?? Not sure on all the laws, we are in CA, if it makes a difference.

Is there anything on this planet that I can do to make the pain just slightly better for her?

Anyway, thanks for reading this far. Please let me know if you have some ideas, I will take them!

Thank you,
Sharon

Mommy to Evelyn Sophia,
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 08-01-2008 - 11:43pm

Hi Sharon!


It sounds like you ARE doing all the things that a girl in her situation would need and want.


I have no idea really about CA laws... but these things never seem to move quickly enough... and really, co-counseling for parenting is a really good idea, especially if she can look at it as a positive thing that will help them to be great co-parents... which is so important.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~