Support group helping me......
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| Mon, 03-13-2006 - 9:20pm |
I had to share the incredible support group I have been attending for the last 3 weeks. My therapist told me about it and I looked it up in my area. There are a wide variety of people (mostly women), some have been going through the process for over a year and some are new like me. I went there thinking, "Nobodys story could POSSIBLY be as bad as mine" and was surprised at how many people had stories just like mine, some even seemed worse.
It is Christianity based, however you can choose to take whatever level from that you want. It has already helped me a lot, last night we talked about forgiveness and the stages of grieving. I am a long way off from forgiving my ex, however someday I will and discovered the following from the workbook in the group:
1) Forgiveness does NOT mean I think it's okay what he did. Infedelity is always wrong and just becasue I forgive him, does not condone his behavior.
2) I have two choices: Bitterness or forgiveness. If I don't forgive him, I am letting him still control me and my emotions. Bitterness festers up and begins to be projected onto people who haven't hurt you.
3) Trust and forgiveness are two different things. Just becasue I forgive him does not mean I have to trust him again.
4) I can forgive him in "layers". I have already forgiven him for the actual act of cheating on me. It's the lies, betrayal, break-up of our marraige and humilitaion that I have to work on forgiving him for next. That will take longer.
I am still at the bitter point, but I can see the light and know I will eventually forgive him. My wound is still very fresh.
Hope this helps anyone. I'm not sure if I'm "allowed" to post what the divorce support group is, however if you are interested (many of you probably alreay know of it) you can email me from my profile.
Thanks,
Beanie

Hey Beanie..... thanks for sharing that with us.... and yes, feel free to enlighten us about the group.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
I'm with you, literally. In the same place. Your post helped me today when I felt sad about his cheating on me. Thanks.
Laura