Survival....
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| Tue, 05-22-2007 - 8:46am |
Well, after the porn video fiasco, I'm picking my head up again. I don't know how I can do it, but I am.
I sent him an email and told him to please just leave me alone unless it involves the children. Just looking at him after seeing those videos makes me want to vomit, it's too emotional for me to deal with and he's done nothing to respect how badly I hurt....I told him the least he can do is leave me alone until he leaves at the end of the month (9 days and counting)!
I can't even begin to express how badly I hurt. I thought I was hurt before but this hurt is....I don't even know how to explain it....inhumane I guess?
But I will be okay, I was before. I have to keep telling myself that. I can't look back and continue to torture myself thinking about all of that.
Thanks for listening again....ugh, I can't wait for this to be over. I am so weary...
Hugs,
Jennifer

jennifer
i must have missed a post somewhere. was he making porn videos without your knowledge or watching them?
Sat. night I found a memory stick with porn videos of him and the OW.
He's moving out in 9 days. It can't come soon enough.
Trying so hard to think about it, but it's the most hurt I have ever been in my life.
Hugs,
Jenn
OMG!
i am sooooo sorry. good for you to be rid of him. have you found yourself a good lawyer and/or therapist?
that is so terrible.
c
My divorce was supposed to be final in January. I let the fool move back in! I never withdrew my divorce with my attorney, so it was easy for me to get it going again. Should be final, AGAIN, by the end of next month.
He was home for a mere 5 months. Apparently, he never double checked his feelings about the OW and decided he still had feelings for her and didn't want to "try" with me anymore.
So, here I am. 2nd chance down the tubes....found those videos Sat....apparently, he was out there all last summer when he was out of my house and has been carrying them around with him since....no respect for me at all....I am just sick. As I said before, to do this to another person is inhumane...I can't even fathom hurting someone like he has hurt me.
I'm gonna be okay, because I was before. I can't blame, hate, regret anymore. I need to turn the corner for good. I don't know this man anymore, nor do I want to. Hard to believe how much I loved him. sniff sniff
Hugs and thank you,
Jennifer
what is it with men and porn?
my stbx talked me into making a tape about 16 years ago. i agree. he used to sit around and "plesure" himself to it.
as soon as our son was born, i pulled the tape out of the case and burned it.
thank god its gone. i shudder to think what he would have done with it now.
have you been tested for stds? i would.
what
I ask myself the same question, about my husband. How can someone you thought love u hurt u so bad. You are an inspiration to me as you seem to be strong through all of this, even though it has been hard on you. I will keep you in my prayers as you enter the next chapter in your life.
Tee
Thank you Tee! No one has ever called me an inspiration before. My hopes, through all this pain, is I can share my stories, failures and accomplishments with others in similiar situations....and we can all help each other get through these hard times. You can NEVER have enough support, especially now.
We can share our prayers for each other Tee. My faith is very important, especially now. This new chapter of my life is really a leap of "blind faith" however, I know things could never be worse than they are now and have been, for a very long time. And somehow, I've managed to survive though there have been days I wasn't sure I would make it.
Inner peace is what I long for, and for the rest of us as well....
Hugs and thank you again for your kind words!
Jennifer