Survivng the weekend without the kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
Survivng the weekend without the kids
10
Sat, 11-04-2006 - 8:08pm
What did you all do to get used to the time away from the kids? There are times when I think I'll enjoy the peace and quiet, but to be honest, I'm just really lonely with them not here. It seems like all I have for "entertainment" is work- schoolwork or housework. I knew this would be a rough transition. How did you all cope?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sat, 11-04-2006 - 10:29pm

I never really had an issue with lonlieness like that - but maybe b/c 1. i have always worked out of the home so am used to being away from dd for times stretches

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
Sat, 11-04-2006 - 10:34pm
I think it will be much easier when I finally move into the city at the end of this month. Being 50 km from the city, friends, everything, is very isolating. I know that I will get used to it in time. And I guess I have to start scheduling outings with friends- or phone calls at the very least. This weekend is particularly bad as everyone seems to be busy or out of town. I guess at the very least I will be so grateful to have the kids home tomorrow- noise, mess and all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Sat, 11-04-2006 - 11:40pm

When my STBX first started taking the kids I would just cry after I said goodbye and watched them drive away with their dad and his gf. It was painful to see them all in the car together like a "family". I felt ALONE.

Even though it probably sounds a little weird, I started thinking about what commonly happens to women after the kids grow up and move away. That the kids grow up and move out and then moms are forced to figure out what to do with themselves. This is not to say that we have no lives other than our kids, but hopefully you get my point. I decided that this was my early exercise in getting myself out there NOW to pursue interests and have a social life. In essence, trying to see the positive in that I don't have to wait another 10 years to do some of what I'd like to do now.

He started taking the kids every other weekend back in March, and I'm now to a point where I miss them, but I am also able to do things on those weekends and not feel bad about them not being here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Sun, 11-05-2006 - 8:06am

Get your self a Hobby!


Take potter classes, start a divorced mom group

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Sun, 11-05-2006 - 1:32pm
I still spend most of my weekends alone doing housework, but I have found that I enjoy my time alone. My week without my boys is OK M-F because I have to work everyday, but like you said the weekends are hard. I spend a lot of time on the phone with family and friends. I read a lot. I sing a lot. You will figure out your niche too. Good Luck.
Hugs, Brenda

Hugs, Brenda 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Sun, 11-05-2006 - 1:33pm
Rebecca, Your pictures are gorgeous! My goodness lady, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
Hugs, Brenda

Hugs, Brenda 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sun, 11-05-2006 - 2:49pm

Rlch:

It will get easier. I think it helped me in this way--I remember when I was married with 3 kids---I LOVED it when my ex husband would take the kids for a few hours or the day to "get them out of my hair"----so why should this seem any different? Once I thought of it this way, it got easier. I realized that it is the realization of us no longer being a family that got me down the most when they were gone and realizing that I had no idea what they were doing and not being a part of the "fun" anymore during his time.

I'm fairly new to all of this too---I've been at it since April and I know it can get lonely and QUIET!!!! But in time, it has been a little easier, I have now realized that I can save some chores and errands to be done during the time I don't have the kids--which gives you more quality time with the kids. I've been told also, which I have not done yet, to get a hobby or pamper yourself or do something special for you, which is going to a movie, watching tv, reading a book, whatever it may be. One thing I have done, which has been good, is that I dream again---even those that those dreams seem obtainable, it is a good feeling to do. I have dreams of moving into a new home and going to law school. I've even researched them both when I have not had the kids. Again, it's pretty much unobtainable again---but it's a start.

Darcy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 11-07-2006 - 12:39pm

I've been thinking about you... and from looking at those fabulous photos, it's pretty obvious that all is well :-)


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 11-07-2006 - 12:42pm

Well, to be honest, I do usually do my housework (vacuuming, dusting, wash sheets and towels, clean the tubs... more intensive that I do when the kids are home).... unless I have something planned.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 3:35pm

Awww thanks girls! So sorry I have been MIA.

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