takingalittlebreak (Jo) - How are you?

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Registered: 07-08-2004
takingalittlebreak (Jo) - How are you?
1
Sat, 09-09-2006 - 6:21pm
You can't just post and run! How are things going? Any changes or news?


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2006
Sun, 09-10-2006 - 10:55am

LOL...sorry, Christine. I really haven't been on much lately. Teaching, taking a class, and the kids are keeping me super busy. The kids and I went to visit my brother in Cincinnati and had a good time. STBX (or STB-Husband-again?) didn't go. He said he would feel too stressed and uncomfortable to be around my family. His loss. He did call a few times, and he was at our house mowing and cleaning the yard that weekend. He was even here waiting for us, saying how much he missed me.

But, I feel he's still inconsistent. One day it's lovey-dovey, and the next he's distant and seems like he wants to go/or me to leave. Then he does what he wants (showers, lays on couch, reads, gets a beer at the local bar). Gee, must be nice! I don't think it's "me", so much as him and his inability to NOT be selfish. That even includes his children. He's a good father, but he gets overwhelmed with their arguing and needs for attention. Well...duh....they don't see a lot of him, and when they do, they want time with dad. Meanwhile, I'm working full-time too, AND taking the kids almost all the time (they even go to/from school with me). Hmm...sounds like a good situation for dad, doesn't it? Although now that he's back out, I think he realizes how much I did and paid for (food, cleaning, child care, etc)

We still have a legal separation, since it must be signed off in front a notary. I still receive the ordered child support from him. Now that he's back out of the house, we've had time to calm down and reassess. Although, we don't really talk about the situation and what we expect/want/plan for the future. It seems to be a day-to-day thing. I hate that. I am very much a "whole picture" kinda person.

I do feel that he's finally not talking to the OW. I don't know why it took so long to not have ANY contact with her. They would occasionally call or e-mail, and then it would start up again. He says they were just "good friends", but that he really liked her, and she said she loved him. Hmmm...real good friends. I don't think they were physically intimate, but they definitely had an emotional affair. And now I'm trying to trust him, and it's hard. Especially when he doesn't reassure me and isn't consistent.

He had blood work last week and he goes to the doctor tomorrow. I think he's depressed and anxious. Maybe he can get some help. I sure hope it helps us.

I'm getting ready to take the kids and go see him at his house this afternoon. They're a big festival around the corner. Apparently, he expected us to spend the night. But, of course, he didn't come right out and ask. I was supposed to figure it out since he changed the sheets on the beds. Why can't he just ask? (*rolling eyes*)

So I guess I don't have much to tell you. Other than I'm being cautious and not getting too optimistic. I'm waiting for consistency, devotion, attention, and a visit to the doctor. I've told him I want and deserve someone that can be a true husband. I know I can find a man who will wear his wedding ring, treat me well, and want to a true partner, in every aspect of the word. I really don't think I'm asking too much of him, not more than most women would expect anyway.

Thanks for checking on me! Have a good rest of the weekend. :) Jo