talking more now than before

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
talking more now than before
10
Wed, 04-09-2008 - 10:52am

I find that DH & I are talking more now than we did when we were supposedly trying to keep the marriage together.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 04-09-2008 - 12:10pm

Well, in most cases when you are married.... it's joint debt reguardless of who actually used the card... especially if it was used for things that he had advantage of (like the vacations.... and he *should have known* that even the self employed have to pay taxes).


Keep validating that it's an "agreement".


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 04-09-2008 - 12:30pm

I was really annoyed when I heard that the atty told him that he shouldn't move out of the house before we had an agreement cause he would give up his "rights."

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2008
Wed, 04-09-2008 - 2:02pm
You know, I could have written your first paragraph.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Wed, 04-09-2008 - 2:17pm

Could it be that the pressure to "save" the marriage is gone, so now some of his individual pressure is alleviated?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 04-09-2008 - 2:32pm

Dear Rachel:


If you mean, does he think we might get back together, I think the answer is no.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2007
Wed, 04-09-2008 - 2:39pm

Liz,


I had the house until the kids were 18, at which time we were to sell it and split the profit. We moved before then, so we split it before that eventuality happened. It worked out very well. There really was no "tying" of us together. Joint ownership of the house was just not an issue until we moved. I think it would be a good option for you, so long as you could afford the payments. I wouldn't try to sell a house right now anyway. It would be in everyone's interest for you to wait a while.


I also think a mediator is a great idea. Everyone feels heard, no one feels victimized, and you might actually be able to do it on the cheap.


FYI, my divorce, which included custody of two children, child support, and division of assets (house, cars, pensions, etc.) cost UNDER $1000.00.


Cat

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Cat

Cat 

Mom to 5: DS-17, DD-16, DD-11, DD-9, DS-7

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Wed, 04-09-2008 - 2:53pm

I just have to tell you, on the fix it up mode, my DH works in Building maintenance and I have more projects backed up at home than you can shake a stick at!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 04-09-2008 - 3:43pm

Our high school has a vocational dept. which actually repaired Abigail Adams' birthplace, which is near my house.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 04-09-2008 - 3:49pm

With my 1st DH, he agreed that I should live in the house w/ the kids until the youngest was 18.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2008
Wed, 04-09-2008 - 11:21pm

The talking is simply the release of stress that has been bearing down on both of you.

It's okay to jump...you have wings! 

To move forward...you have to stop looking back.