Telling him I'm still in love with him

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Telling him I'm still in love with him
2
Fri, 05-13-2005 - 9:13pm

I've arranged to talk to my ex Sunday when I drop my dd off with him for her overnight visit. I think I'm just going to come out and tell him that I'm still in love with him. Maybe not in love with the person he has become, but with the person that I married over 4 years ago.

I know that he may use this against me and/or throw it back in my face, but I just feel like that's a chance I have to take. I constantly think that I'm holding on to some kind of hope that he'll come to his senses and realize what he's lost and what he's doing. Maybe getting these emotions off my chest to him will be a closure of some sort to all of this mess. I don't expect him to tell me he loves me or even want to come back home. I know that he'll blow it off and probably make me feel silly. But, if I don't do this, how will I ever get over it? If I don't tell him how I feel and what I hope, then how will I ever let go of the hope that he's coming back? I know he's not...but I need to HEAR him say it one more time for some reason. Maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment.

Help!
Kait

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Fri, 05-13-2005 - 10:33pm

Hi Kait....


HUGS TO YOU.


You are hurting, understandably so.


You have got to let go. Why put yourself through this? So you tell him, what will he say back? nothing? Something terrible? No matter what he says will it be what you want to hear? Why bother? Alls it will do is make you sad.


You are making the choice to hurt YOU. You are not taking care of YOU. You have got to change something in order to make it better in your own mind to let go.


We all know what it's like to want something we cannot have. Heck, it was only recently that I realized I didn't want my ex anymore.


Is there any other way you can let him know, without risking your own heart?


Hugs to you and good luck.


Angelena

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Fri, 05-13-2005 - 11:47pm

What if you wrote him a letter explaining how you feel. Express the fact that you do not expect anything from him only that you wish to put your feelings out there. Do it the same way you just told us. It will keep him less defensive and he can read it in his own time when he is really ready to hear it. He will also be able to go over it again if he needs to try to understand something you wrote.

Make sure you don't criticize him in any way and always use "I feel" for example. It puts it on you and he may be more receptive to what you have to say. Try really hard not to use "you" towards him. I hope this helps and goes well for you.

K:)