Thanks to all that replied to my
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| Tue, 05-03-2005 - 2:31pm |
not doing well post. I wish I could answer each individually but can't find the time. You all raised great points and gave me lots to think about. Also helpful to know that I'm not alone with health issues that can knock you off your feet regardless how strong the will to persevere is. Clearly the stress of these unknowns are taking a toll on me. I went to my dr. today and she started me on paxil. Any thoughts or insights about this one? My blood pressure was 95/50, she sent me for bloodwork, xanax... diarrhea med, acid reflux med, sleep aid med and a couple places to call (one she goes to, lol) for therapists. I'm about to get up the gumption to call and see who what and where accepts insurance. If it wasn't for the cost of insurance in this country we would all have less stress. Fortunately stbx has good insurance and the kids (who are rarely sick) will be covered.
You all gave wonderful insights and things for me to consider. I know there has to be a workable solution to this parenting time issue but the thought of writing it down in black and white all legally binding is frightening when flexibility will have to be an issue. My wants and needs are becoming a little clearer but the thought that they are based on my weaknesses makes me cringe. It's encouraging to hear that those of you with chronic health issues have come through to the other side and are able to say it got better as the process moves forward. My heart goes out to you all.
BTW firstamendment, the remicade treatments i get are also used for people with rheumatoid arthritis. You seem so intelligent and aware that you most likely already know this but I thought it was worth mentioning. It's ridiculously expensive so insurance coverage is an issue. I found your questions about 50/50 relating to my situation insightful and the thought that it will cut my amount of support is an important one considering i'm not working. I do help a friend clean two days every other week for cash and she's been great about working around/finding someone else without "firing" me when childcare or my health are an issue but this isn't enough $ to make a dent in my bills.
Stbx has been regularly paying me an amount, combined with the $222 I get per month from the state for each child having autism. Thus I pay everything here except my van pmt, insurance and the one visa which i've had to use for groceries, gas, clothes, etc as things are tight. This was how he set it up when he also refinaced this house (extra $10,000, discovered this as I was going through papers preparing to file)and cashed in our $5,000 CD to buy 'his' house. Throughout our marriage he consistently refinanced things and took out new credit cards to "pay off" other ones.... This was always a sore point between us and I forsee a big pain in the a$$ when we get to the amount of debt he has really accumulated and how our settlement works out. Look how much trouble we are having with just the initial parenting time negotiations.
Anyways I wanted to thank all you wonderful people for your support and encouragement. It means a lot.

I had a choice between Remicade and Humira for my RA. The nurse (extremely helpful person in all kinds of ways) talked me into Humira because it is self-injectable and you don't have to take time off work to go to a clinic or office for an infusion. Health insurance is so important when you have a chronic illness. The Humira alone is around $1,300 per month (two shots per month) and thankfully I only pay a $30 co-pay (I know Remicade is even more expensive). The idea of being disabled one day (my mom is disabled from RA) is so scary. It would be one thing if I had a spouse I could count on to carry me in his health insurance in the future if that ever happened, but it's really all up to me at this point. I am very luck that the Humira in combination with the other drugs are working well for me, but I know it may not always be the case.
You do sound better. Keep us updated on your progress. I am sure we will have lots of advice and support as you continue through this process. It often isn't simple or easy, and it sounds like your case will have some particularly difficult challenges in the coming months.
Sheesh, you are one tough cookie to pick the self-injectable one, lol!! You are an amazing woman and it's so gracious of you to share your thoughts and wisdom. My prayers are with you that you may never find yourself disabled and alone. I wouldn't be suprised if someone out there has a cure for RA but keeping it under wraps because it wouldn't be so lucrative as dishing out expensive drugs....
When we were going through the autism dx process for dd I found a really helpful, encouraging support board for that... after sifting through many unsupportive, pushy, you-know-what I mean 'support' boards. It was a blessing because it was there any time and I find that same sort of intelligent, encouraging, reality-based without harsh judgement kind of support here. I've been lurking on and off here for some time now and feel blessed that I have found another such board.
I was very concerned to choose the self-injectible, and initially I was going to pick Remicade for that reason (even though I knew my mom did the self-injecting kind, just a different manufacturer). The nurse told me she teaches 80 year old women to do the self-injections and if they can do it, I certainly can do it. I was scared at first, but she was right. It's not as bad as I thought it would be (not easy either though).
I had an RA support group I went to for a long time. At some point my issues with divorce, dating and finances took over and those are the main support groups I go to now. This is a good board and I'm glad you decided to de-lurk.