Thanks To All of You Guys

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Thanks To All of You Guys
2
Fri, 04-21-2006 - 10:12am

I just wanted to say thanks from the bottom of my heart to all of you guys. You have been phenomenal to me and I truly appreciate it. This is a wonderful board and I dont know what I would have done without it. You guys are my therapy and I wouldnt have it any other way.

To Mommyluvspunx,
I didnt think your post was too harsh. I feel the love and I know youve been there yourself. You made me find the positive in the situation in the fact that although ex is still a big jerk (probably always will be lol) he has shown some (I use that term loosely lol) improvement. That is the main important thing. Him and i have made the mistake of arguing in front of our little guy. The fact that now he has been civil to me is actually great, hell he's even been sharing the pics with me when he has him and that has surprised me big time and I love to get them. He even starting calling and letting ds talk to me on the phone, when in was written in the co he didnt do it but when I started doing it for him, it seemed to prompt him to. So I changed my attitude some and it seems to have had a positive effect on his as well. Someone said something about killing him with kindness (was that you?), there seems to be truth to that.

To Firstamendment,
Your right about the school kids statement. I wouldnt pull him out of the school if he came home and told me that. Thanks for bringing that to the table. You always present things in a perspective that when Im caught up in the emotions of the situation I havent thought of.

I talked to ds this morning b/c when he was watching one of his cartoons the mom starting crying and he said it again "janel was crying", "whats wrong with janel". So I told him was she upset honey. Its okay sometimes grownups cry but she's okay now. Whew. I did it.

Im not going to say anything to ex. However if over the weekend ds comes home again and more has happened then I will calmly, casually mention it to ex. Heck I'll even ask the jerk if he's okay. To heck with him and his ego. My son is what matters. I know I cant change ex and that ds will be exposed to alot in his presence and mine but I wont loose sight of whats important and that is our son. Also the fact that right now things between ex and me have been the best they've been in geez a LONG time. Even when he tried to take to that argumentative place I handled it good and didnt bite. We stayed on track. We're going for a record I think its been like 3-4 weeks of civility, communication, and Wednesday was the first time we made brief eye contact with one another and I didnt see total hatred in his eyes for me.

All in all I would say this was a victory.

Thanks again ladies.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 04-21-2006 - 10:36am

You're doing great.... but remember.... if you bring this up with him, you're not asking him if he's OK... you're just going to make a statement "I hope everything's OK."


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Fri, 04-21-2006 - 12:56pm

Thats great. Makes alot more sense. Thats why I had got a bit nervous and felt he would think I was concerned about him but I can do the "hope everything is okay" for sure easily. I dont give a crap what failed relationship he has. Hell Im still waiting for him to get his karma from what he did to me.

Thanks again