therapy worth it
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therapy worth it
| Mon, 07-17-2006 - 1:08am |
my husband and i are drifting apart. all the little thing around the house are irritating me and we have gotten goals on seprate ends of the spectrum. He said something about marriage counseling or divorce. I don't think going to counseling will change anything. We do have two little boys together so that's why i am thinking about it. At the same time i don't want to give false hope to him that it will all be better when i don't think therapy will do any good. Should I go ahead and agree to conseling or start with divorce proceedings?

hi and hugs.
you don't give specific problems here, other than 'drifting apart'. it is my opinion that therapy should be tried - whether there are kids or not (and especially if there ARE kids). you are having problems in your marriage - don't just throw it away without trying to fix things. and remember - no matter what happens, you and your husband are going to be parents forever, even if you do get divorced, you will have to learn to cooperate with each other and couple's therapy is a good place to start.
lets say that you feel that therapy can't help - so what can it hurt? you think you might be sedning him the wrong message - ok, i can buy that, so when you go to the first session you should be honest.
the good thing about therapy - IF you are willing to do the work - is that you will end up being a stronger person, more in touch with yourself.
Why do you not think therapy will work? Isn't it worth it to try? I would do anything if I could have stopped my divorce. It is killing my children. My advice to you is do not divorce until you have turned over every stone. Your children will thank you someday.
Good Luck! Hugs, Brenda
PS Editing to add: Two books that might help. One was suggested by another poster.
Love must be Tough by Dr. James Dobson and The 5 languages of love by Gary Chapman
They are both wonderful books. I wish I had found them years ago. I might not be here now.
Edited 7/17/2006 9:55 pm ET by mebrenda
Hugs, Brenda