Is there any reason why I should tell...

Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Is there any reason why I should tell...
5
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 9:35pm

my xh about my new job? I really don't want to, but since I am still so close to his family, I would love to share some of my excitement with them... (and if I do, you know he'll find out)... after all, they know all of the troubles I had schedule wise earlier this year, etc... at the same time, I don't want them to know it is a promotion... or that I've gotten a raise even... xh is so far back on child support and with GA recently changing the way CS is calculated, I don't even want to bring the money into the picture...

I don't know... one thought I had was spinning it as a lateral move, one that does get me into a group with greater flexibility... what do you think?

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 10:36pm

I like the lateral move with flexibility.... after all, you can't depend on anyone but yourself to parent Joey ;-)


Of course it's expected that over time you'll get increases in your salary, so if they ask about money, just say "oh, I'm sure that I'll continue to get the review promotions that usually cover cost of living increases and things like that."


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2001
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 8:18am

Yep! That's what I'd do..... lateral move with better hours/flexibility. Then if asked about a raise you can even say "Oh, you have to be in a position X months to be considered for a raise," which probably isn't a lie, just a stretch.

I keep my XH on a "need to know basis" and he doesn't need to know very much! When I got my new job, I just told him I got it and that I was starting in 2 weeks.

The truth is that you got a new job.... You don't HAVE to tell every detail!!

~calla~  mom to rosie and gracie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 11:33am
When it comes to the ex's the less they know the better. I don't want my ex knowing anything about my new life because the minute he finds out that I'm even remotely getting ahead he'll come along and sabotage it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 3:07pm

I agree w/Karen & Calla....lateral move w/more flexibility...That's what I did...I mean my xh has gotten promotions and the only way I find out is if it's published in the quarterly newsletter , he's never mentioned anything to me and I'm sure a few raises came w/these promotions AND that he's never told me about.

Hugs~ Lexi

"Shoot for the moon and if you miss you will still be among the stars" ~ Les Brown


Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 8:03pm

Thanks everyone!

I think I'll spin it as the lateral move with greater flexibility... that's what I was thinking, just because it would be a good move, even with out the increase... you know?

As far as xh interfering, it won't happen here... I've worked at the same place since before we were divorced and I proved myself before, during and after the divorce... They know my work and my new boss is good friends (former roommates) of my old boss, so if there ever was a question, my current boss would speak up for me, I'm certain...

And its not like I want to tell him... I could frankly care less either way if he knew, but I know if I pass the word along to my xils, with whom I still have a good relationship, I know it will get passed along, so I want to make sure I'm sharing enough information with them, without sharing too much, if you know what I mean!

Thanks again!

Julie