Is there anything he doesn't want?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2006
Is there anything he doesn't want?
4
Thu, 03-22-2007 - 11:52am

It seems STBX wants everything except me and the kids. After a decade of marriage and two young children, he announces he is leaving for someone else (six months after moving us all half way across the country). At first, he says it is fine for me to take the kids back home and live there. So I took a few days worth of clothes for us and planned to have movers get everything else because we had agreed on what each of us would take from the house - only a verbal agreement.

Now all of a sudden, he wants them back in that state (I filed here, he filed there- where there are stricter limits on child support). However, he also wants exclusive rights to the house there including all the contents (is the OW going to wear my clothes and what about the kids clothes and toys?) and wants the judge to require the kids to live nearby. But he doesn't want custody and can't take the kids overnight because that state won't permit it if OW is living there.

So I have to go there for a hearing and hopefully the judge will agree to my motion to transfer the case back to the state I've lived in (where the judge already said she believes it belongs) and the children have lived in all our lives except for the past few months.

How do people suddenly change like this?!?!? He went from loving husband and father to this kind of behavior overnight! He is treating me like I'm the one who cheated and left! Some days I just get so angry!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-22-2007 - 12:05pm
I know how you feel. My STBX did the same thing...well, tried to. He didnt care enough to work things out with me despite my efforts, yet wanted everything. Sooo, when we moved, I took it all with me. I told him I was moving on Pres Day (monday) and left on a Saturday so he couldnt stop me. He wanted the bedroom furniture espcially. BS! He lives in his moms basement, why give it to him to hold and then let his new gf use my stuff. No way. So now I get nothing from the sale of the house (other issue in itself), but Im not giving him anything. Originally I told him I would give him stuff when he needed it (like if he moved out ALONE)...but now...no...not doing it. He already has the car with no payments and the one Im driving is being repossessed tomorrow. He wants it all! Sick what happens to some of these people. My loving, sensitive craing husband died 8 months ago to me...the man I know now is just an evil evil person who reminds me everyday with his inentions that I was never truly loved.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 03-22-2007 - 2:36pm

are you sure you can really get it transferred to your new state? Normally you have to live in the new state at least 6 months to gain jurisdiction.

BM left DH and moved 1000 miles away and tried to file there. It was thrown out quicker than quick.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2006
Thu, 03-22-2007 - 2:53pm
my new state is my old state. We lived here for 9 and a half years of our 10 year marriage. We (the kids and I) returned here after 6 months (actually 6 months and 19 days) in the new state. I beleive he kept us there just long enough for jursidiction (and so does the court here). He got there a few months before us because the kids were finishing up the school year (kindergarten and pre-k). The the question the judge in the other state is considering whether or not jurisdication was fraudulantly created.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 03-22-2007 - 3:52pm
oh... I see... yikes, that is a HUGE mess! Let us know what happens, I've never seen someone try to establish jurisdiction in a new state just to get around the guidelines in the original state. That's pretty slimy stuff.