Is there anything STBX can do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2003
Is there anything STBX can do?
4
Tue, 03-22-2005 - 12:58pm

Hi Everyone,

I have a quick question and need some advice. There is a fund raiser for Pop Warner Cheerleading that my DD is on. It is a bus trip to one of the casinos in CT on a Sat. The bus leaves the school at 4:30 pm and we should be back at the school at midnight. A few of my friends want me to go and get out. H would be home because he doesn't go to work until 10:00 pm so from that time until I got home, DD would be in bed and DS would be home and he is 16. I would have my cell on the entire time and they could reach me.

My question is, should I go? And if I go is there anything that H can do? Is there anyway that he could say I left the kids, etc.?

The other option is to see if my MIL would watch DD and I have a few friends that said DS could go over their house. What should I do? I think it would be nice to get away for a few hours but I am worried about H being able to use it against me.

Thanks
DAF

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Tue, 03-22-2005 - 1:22pm
I don't know for sure, I'm just guessing, but I would think that since your 16 year old son will be home, that it will be OK. I was babysitting other people's children at that age.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Tue, 03-22-2005 - 1:46pm

You need to know your state laws. Every state is different. Some say you can be home alone at the age of 12, but you can't be left to care for other children at that age, and it may say how late (if overnight or part of the night is okay). State law governs whether your older son can be in charge of your dd while sleeping. State law can be very specific, for example my state says I can leave dd in the car as long as I don't take more than 10 steps away from the vehicle. If the state says it's okay, then you shouldn't have any worries. Make sure ds knows he's in charge and has access to any and all emergency numbers.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Tue, 03-22-2005 - 2:25pm

when you say STBX, I'm assuming you're in litigation still and things aren't resolved. As I've learned, things that are even legal in your state may be twisted to be used against you or paint a picture.

If it were me and I was in the court process and custody was still up in air, I'd lean in the direction of having nothing able to be used against me. Your 16 year old is old enough to care for a younger sibling. If your worried, ask your attorney though, your not out anything but $40...... (smile) You are talking a gap of only two hours?

Go enjoy yourself but do what makes you feel at peace or you will not be enjoying yourself while you're gone!!!

Your question reminds me of many times over the past 3 years a parent finds theirselves asking questions that wouldn't ever even be a question if you weren't going through a divorce. I was babysitting overnight for people at 16.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2003
Tue, 03-22-2005 - 2:39pm

Thanks everyone. I do know that legally in this state at the age of 12 children can be left alone and after completing a babysitting course (from the YMCA or local hospital) they are able to babysit. Unfortuntately DD is only 10 but DS is more then capable of watching her, especially when she is sleeping. Many times before H and I have left them alone together to go out and H currently still does leave them alone when I am not home.

I think I might go and try to have a few hours of peace.

DAF