Is there a repairing your marriage board

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Is there a repairing your marriage board
5
Fri, 06-15-2007 - 5:58am

Looks like we're switching gears. I'm not 100% I want to even try but I have two kids to think about and he's doing a 180 here. Honestly, it's been many many years since he was sober so I feel I need to give it one more try with him not drinking. I don't know if we'll make it. I really need to find a support group as I go through this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 06-15-2007 - 9:54am

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2006
Fri, 06-15-2007 - 11:23am

gr8

good for you. i wish you all the best. while these boards are fantastic, i would strongly recommend finding an al-anon group in your area for you and an aa group for your h. you may also want to find a really good mc or ic to help.

i have had more than my fair share of experience with alcoholism. my stbx went to rehab in october, stayed sober until december 23, then went back to booze. alcohol nearly killed my father just last month. he is 73 years old and has never attempted to become sober until now. alcoholism is an illness. your h is in complete control of his destiny. you, gr8, cannot fix it, cure it, or make it better. childhood exposure to alcoholism increases the chance of children growing up to be alcoholics themselves, or marrying an alcoholic. regardless, following your heart in a situation where substance addiction/abuse is not always the best choice.

i don't want to preceive this as negative, but please educate yourself. maybe you already have. if so, good for you. if not, please do so as you embark on this journey.

all the best to you!

christine

what
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Fri, 06-15-2007 - 3:05pm

Hi Gr8fulmom,


Well, we never know how things will go. Sometimes it takes a crisis (like splitting up) for us to see things more clearly. It goes both ways and your ambivalence about making up is understandable.

CL-Wisdomtooth2020

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
Fri, 06-15-2007 - 3:14pm
I know a couple who went through a workshop that saved their marriage. The website is www.savemymarriage.com if you wanna check it out. Just thought I'd throw that out there. Have a great day!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Fri, 06-15-2007 - 11:59pm
I'm already attending alanon and I requested stbx? go back to our old marriage counselor for his counseling. I will not attend counseling with him until/unless he works through his issues. I see no sense in it as there can be no relationship until he figures out how to stay sober. I told him he has to fix this. I can't. It's his problem to deal with and either he will or he won't.