Is there a wrong way?
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Is there a wrong way?
| Thu, 06-16-2005 - 11:14am |
Is there a wrong way to ask for a divorce? Can I do it in a way that I don't have to face him? If I have to face him, then I think I will be guilted to stay.
Thanks
Chrissy
Thanks
Chrissy

Hello,
If you are afraid of facing him because he will talk you out of it, are you sure this is really what you want? When I did meet face to face with him, he was very determined and strong about his decision. I knew it was hard for him to be that way, and he seemed like a totally different person. That is what you have to do. Be strong enough to face him, tell him exactly how you feel, and don't get into a discussion about it. It hurt me when he finally did this, but it was much better than finding that note!
Thank you :)
Chrissy,
I would think that at some point that you'd have to face him.... so perhaps just telling him that "I'm not happy with the way things are... and if I'm not happy, then I'm not giving you 100% of what you deserve to have from your wife... and I think that maybe we should move on."
Better to be up front about it that have to worry about when you eventually do see him face to face the next time after you've broken the news to him.
Good luck!.... We're here with ya.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Thanks to everyone, and I'll keep checking in to see if anyone has any other advice.
Chrissy
It has to be so scary for someone to threaten suicide. I've never experienced that kind of threat, but I have lost someone who committed suicide. It might help you to have a plan in case he does that again, like a local suicide hotline number (you can find one at this site: http://suicidehotlines.com/) The best way IMHO is to be honest but not detailed. Tell him you want a divorce and you can't stay, but you are sorry. Don't tell him why or give lots of reasons, that will only make him think he might be able to do x, y and z and keep you from leaving. Is there a friend you can stay with in case staying in the same house becomes unbearable? Is there a good friend of his you can talk to so they are standing by, ready to support him (I only recommend this because he's threatened suicide before, and making sure he has a support system is looking out for his safety).
I think the counseling is a good idea. The counselor might give you some better suggestions about how to approach this. The counselor might also allow you to invite him to a counseling session so you can tell him how you feel that way.