For those divorced - was it worth it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2007
For those divorced - was it worth it?
8
Sat, 11-03-2007 - 12:24pm

I'm considering divorcing my husband of 19 years.

Avatar for eatatmoms
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 11-03-2007 - 2:24pm

In one word:


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Sat, 11-03-2007 - 2:27pm

Apple,


Have you tried telling your husband exactly what you told us here? Have you written him a letter telling him? If not, please do so. There's no guarantee he'll respond the way you want him to, but you have nothing to lose by trying. (And yes, writing a letter is an unusual way to tell your own spouse something, but it's effective - he can't tune out, misinterpret, or

CL-Wisdomtooth2020

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
Sun, 11-04-2007 - 7:31am

Hi applepie,


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2007
Sun, 11-04-2007 - 8:47am

Thanks for your reply.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Sun, 11-04-2007 - 11:45am

Divorce is something to seriously consider.

Avatar for atober
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
Sun, 11-04-2007 - 11:57am

I am not yet divorced but am separated and we are planning on divorcing in April (a year after physical separation).

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
Mon, 11-05-2007 - 7:42am
Why was my marriage unfixable..........good question.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2006
Sun, 11-11-2007 - 8:08pm

Hi, Applepie.


I haven't posted for a while, but I have been lurking. It's been over a year since I moved out and this summer I bought my own tiny little house near my work. We are still not done, but coming close. It has been a hard year, but I have worked like crazy on making sure the kids (21 and 10) are OK and they are. My STBX and I tried marriage counseling at his request, but when she didn't "fix me", he was angry with her. During our discussions, he never once really told me that he loved me and wanted this to work. He just got angry because I was messing with his easy life (I was the primary breadwinner, he stayed home and diddled with a business that didn't get off the ground, and then started diddling with porn as well) and made some horrible accusations and said some horrible things that I cannot forget.


If you have exhausted every avenue, then it is time to go. Your kids will be OK if you put them first (VERY HARD TO DO) and do not make them choose (ALSO VERY HARD) even if your spouse does not do that (EVEN MORE HARD).


I wish you well.