thoughts
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thoughts
| Mon, 08-27-2007 - 2:27am |
I know I probably shouldn't even be bothering to think of some things, I just can't help it. My H has told many people that he hasn't been happy for many years now. According to him, we're looking at about 20 years now of constant unhappiness for him. I've been going through a lot of paper work lately, pictures, etc. I have come across many pictures where my H appears to be very happy. Is it possible for him to be acting out fake happiness all those years? I am just having a real difficult time in believing all the things I'm seeing and hearing out of him. I haven't spoken to him in 2 weeks now, since HE called me, and then I hung up on him. My children haven't heard from him either. They didn't appreciate him calling me, they told him so. His phone call was just to rub things in my face, especially his mistress in the back ground throwing her 2 cents in there. I am very proud of myself for hanging up on him. I haven't received anything from "his lawyer" yet. I was reading up on the divorce laws in South Carolina, I'm not exactly sure how they work. I know he no longer lives in South Carolina, he moved to another state. He hasn't lived in the new state long enough to file there. I find this all to be very confusing for me. I did go to a lawyer, for some free advice. He's going to check into some things and get back to me. I was pleased with him, he didn't mention money at all. I am definitly getting a job, by the end of the week I will go to the work I know best if I can't find anything else. I know I'm rambling again, sorry. I just find it so unbeleiveable for him to say he was unhappy all those years. I know he feels he has to justify everything he does, still, to say things like that, to ridicule me, make fun of me, call me names and allow his mistress to call all the shots is just beyond my comprehension. I went to my therapist on Friday, I like her. She agrees with me that my H has some major issues going on. She also agrees with me that I have to, no matter what, stay firm on my decision to not have any contact with him at all. I cried when I was telling her that we did have a very stable life at one time. I want that stability back, it is going to be without him, I want it back for me. I just am having a real hard time in believing all that he is saying. I find it impossible for a person to live all those years in unhappiness with the person that is making them unhappy. He says he stayed out of quilt, I say he stayed out of fear. He says he has finally found the courage and confidence in himself to tell me all these things, plus all the name calling on top of all that. I didn't think I was that bad. I didn't think our family was that bad. He says that his past almost destroyed him, I guess he doesn't realize that myself and our children are his past. Imagion how that made all of us feel when he said that? Dumb, thats what I say.
