Thoughts on Visitation Schedule?
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| Sun, 04-23-2006 - 9:42am |
Right now we live in the same town so my stbx visits our daughter (2.5) in our home almost each day...thankfully this is almost over, bc it drives me bananas to be around him. Once we move we will be about 5 hours away from stbx. In our sep. agreement it states, "liberal visitation with reasonable notice" which at the time sound like a great idea and a week seemed like "reasonable" notice. I'm sure in a perfect world this would work but I am wondering what all you experienced men/ladies think would be best to have in place as far as a visitation schedule for my daughter(2.5) and her daddy.
I'm trying to take in to consideration him being 5 hours away, in the Marines, and he will be in a financial crunch so he'll be working a 2nd job most likely...and may even still be working on his masters degree at that point. Which leaves him with no time. I don't want to expect too much of him and then have my daughter see my disapointment and it rub off on her.
What I've read is best for my dd age group is not to be away from either parent for greater than 4 days....that's fine while we are 5 minutes away but at 5 hours it's just not possible. My stbx will agree to just about anything I put in front of him, I just want to do what is best for dd. He's no help on coming to a decision...he just expects me to tell him when he can see her.
I really would like something in writing so that I don't have to talk to him and negotiate when he'll visit...it would relieve some stress/drama for both of us.
I have a hard time writing down the times my dd won't be with me! She slept downstairs with my stbx last night (his overnight visitation has to be in our house since he lives in the barracks)...and I missed her so much just knowing she wasn't upstairs with me!!
Ok, I'm rambling. Thanks for any thoughts on this.

Well, he'll wait for you to tell him when he can see DD... as long as you let him do it!
Even in the busiest of schedules, there's free time... and much of this is going to be up to him to TELL YOU when he has time available and schedule something... and a week is ideal planning (or the same time and place each week) but that much advance notice might not always be possible, so you'll both have to work to be flexible.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
I realize your STBX is going to be busy with a second job, school, etc....but many parents have those obligations and still manage to spend time with their children. I would ask him what he feels is reasonable visitation, and go from there. If he really can't seem to come up with anything, present him something that will work out best for you and your DD.
And I know you're going to miss your daughter. The first few times you're away from her, it's going to be the hardest. But after a while, you do come to appreciate the free time. Also, it's important for her to maintain a good relationship with her dad. I hope you can make it work out! I know it's not easy.
What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us. - Ralph Waldo Emerson