Three Musketeers

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
Three Musketeers
9
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 6:54pm

All,


I am left to cry my eyes out as my STBX just left to have our son over to his new apartment for the night. He moved out June 3, and the first day was shock, then on to busying myself with making this house my own, and now it's just downright awful. I look at my husband and wonder how he could leave this house we shared, our 17 years together, our dog we got when were first married. Our family. It makes me feel like absolute crap and so miniscule that he left for greener pastures, and that when we were really trying to work on our relationship, he says he tried, but could not come up with any other feelings for me than being best friends. When I was talking to my friend the other day, I was sort of defending him, saying he left me, not DS. ANd she said, no, he left you, he left DS, he left his family. I guess she's right.


When you have one child it's always the 3 of you. We did everything together. The three musketeers. I am about to go visit family out west for support with my DS for a few weeks and I have this fear of not enjoying myself because I will miss him so much and our family as we were.


I don't know why I am so miserable. STBX had an affair for about a year that I discovered in a text message. I should have thrown him out then, but I loved him too much. I thought if he told me what it was he couldn't find with me that he found with OW, then I could do those things. Instead, I know

Avatar for iladyja
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: bp5567
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 7:15pm

No, I have no similar story for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
In reply to: bp5567
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 7:48pm

Thank you so much! Yes, I am in counseling. She is helpful, but in the end, an hour a week doesn't get me too far.


I know that I can do this. Deep, deep down, it's in me somewhere just like all of us. But I am scared to death of how long it will take. I just busied myself with stuff that needed to get done around the house, and my mind was off everything, but then I realize that it's all still there.


Yes, you say best friends don't treat each other that way. This is where I get stuck because I agree with YOU not him, but

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2008
In reply to: bp5567
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 7:57pm

Oh My God - I read your story and then called my sister, because I though she had posted it, although her divorce was over 5 years ago so I didn't know why she would be posting this now. . .but it is her story.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
In reply to: bp5567
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 8:07pm

Thank you Meg. 3 years right now sounds like a lifetime to me. I do know my STBX did not see the OW for the last 2 years, he has just harbored this "she set the bar" notion (his words to my MIL that I found in an email.)


May I ask how long after your sister's divorce did he marry this woman? Did they have children? I think that's the future for me to face.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2008
In reply to: bp5567
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 8:59pm

I think he married within a year of the divorce.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
In reply to: bp5567
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 9:33pm

Meg,


Was reading some of the other posts and read your first new and in shock post. I am so sorry for what you've gone through. What did he say when he left? And you have 4 children? That's just so amazing to me.


If there is a bright side it's that I can tell you're smart, you have a sister whom you can relate to, and a great big family between you and your kids. My little family can feel really lonely at the dinner table when it's just me and DS. And you're already 15 mos into this! And you admit you are not thinking of your situation everyday now like before. How is your financial situation these days? I have a co-worker whose XH lies on his taxes so that he pays less to her and their 3 boys. She can't afford to hire a forensic accountant which is apparently what she would need. You would think fathers, men women marry and say vows to, would not rip off their children like this. Shame on them.


bp

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2008
In reply to: bp5567
Tue, 06-17-2008 - 1:12am

It IS amazing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2008
In reply to: bp5567
Tue, 06-17-2008 - 5:27pm




I thought I'd reply to this one since it happened to me.




Avatar for iladyja
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: bp5567
Tue, 06-17-2008 - 5:45pm

no, didn't mean to unload on your son.