Throwing myself a pity party
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| Thu, 07-21-2005 - 7:50pm |
Hey ladies...I need some words of wisdom.
I have been feeling so sorry for myself the past few days and it HAS to stop!
Dd is down the shore with H, MIL, FIL, and BIL for a week. In the beginning of the week I thought to myself, "I am doing so well, being all alone and not being sad or lonely." Yeah, that lasted about a day and a half.
Today I was near tears because I feel like no one loves me and no one will ever love me. I have no close friends and very few friends at all (no one I know can relate to what I am going through - I have about 2 married friends and NONE of my friends have children. I feel so alone!
Sometimes I even feel like my daughter could go on without me. This week she talked to me for a total of less than 60 seconds. I know she is only 3, but she doesn't even say she misses me or loves me.
What do I do to get out of this?! I don't want to be moping around all the time, I want to be happy and feel fulfilled and make a difference!
Thanks for listening!

My dd doesn't like to talk on the phone when she's with her dad, I think it reminds her more that she misses me and she's protecting herself somewhat by not thinking about me too much. Plus children are much better at living in the moment. She's probably have a really fun time and I promise it doesn't mean she loves you any less.
My dd is with her dad for a week out of town, he went to his mom's and his sister and her three children are there visiting too. I am happy for my dd she can spend that time with her extended family, she doesn't get to see them nearly enough. I miss my dd when she's with her dad, but I never feel bad about it because both her parents are so important to her, she's lucky to have two, I only had one parent that cared.
I think you have to find a way not to depend on your dd being there to feel ok. She will one day grow up and have a life that doesn't include you as much, and she might feel overly and uncessarily burdened if you are so dependant on her to be happy. This time alone is good because it forces you to look at what is missing in your life and what might get you to the point of feeling satisified with yourself and your life. My things are exercising (although I've been bad about that lately), reading (books from the library is all that fits in my budget), ivillage (lol, if you can't tell) and my new kitties (after my bf and I broke up, it was waaaaay too quiet around here when dd was with her dad). Oh, and my new favorite hobby, looking at homes on realtor.com and getting depressed at what I could actually afford :(
When does your dd get back? Mine just left and she's gone until next Wednesday. She's usually with her dad every other week, but I usually see her mid-week and he's never taken her on vacation before. If my ideas above don't get you out of your funk, wanna meet for dinner or something? I'd love to go anywhere with air conditioning, it's so freaking hot and I'm trying to pretend I have central air but it's not working! My email is firstamendment@verizon.net if you are interested, but I'll warn you I don't drink and I can't stay out late or I'll fall asleep :)
Edited 7/21/2005 8:10 pm ET ET by firstamendment