Today would've been my...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2005
Today would've been my...
5
Sun, 07-16-2006 - 10:43am

12th wedding anniversary... and since it's been 18+ months since we've been apart i'm not sitting around missing him or feeling very sorry for myself anymore... in fact... i don't even know anymore what i was feeling on our wedding day... i'm happily moving on with my life... it's been a tough road and i'm sure i'll have days where i'm feeling sad... it truly may never go away... a friend of mine told me that she's happy i'm doing so well but that she does feel that there is still saddness in me... there probably always will be... i had a wonderful life with my XH... i truly did... and...

i took that same friend out for her birthday yesterday (7/15) and she revealed the truth about my suspicions about my XHs affairs... i knew it in my heart... but when she told me it was true, you know what??!?!?! i didn't even cry... i wasn't sad... i just realized what a sad, sad unhappy man he was and is... i hear he's miserable with the GF... to bad (LOL) and i don't feel bad for feeling happy about that... he made his choice about me and our marriage... he threw it away... and now i am having my revenge by living a good life and am truly HAPPY now!

To all of you going through this now... i never thought that time would help... but it has... hang in there... it WILL get better...

Ali

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 07-16-2006 - 1:23pm

"now i am having my revenge by living a good life"


AMEN Sister!

Karen ~ wildlucky4me

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sun, 07-16-2006 - 2:59pm


I always LOVE to read about how other ladies on this board are growing and prospering. Good for you! I think it's important to give hope to the newbies that life can, and does get better.




Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-16-2006 - 9:24pm

Congratulations on getting here... it is wonderful when you get through all the muck and get to where the grass is a bit greener, at least most of the time....

Your description of how you felt when you found out the suspicions were true reminded me of how I felt when I found out that xh is engaged... after finding out what I heard recently from a friend of mine, I almost feel a little sorry for his fiancee...

*hugs*

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2006
Mon, 07-17-2006 - 11:35pm

Congratulations with moving on with your life and getting the last laugh.

Thank you for your post. It gives those of us that are in the middle of this neverending nightmare hope that there is an end to this feeling. On bad days it can seem so hopeless that there doesn't seem like an end.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2005
Tue, 07-18-2006 - 8:43am

I agree that it sometimes seems like a neverending nightmare... and i thought the same thing.. i never thought that i would be ok, that my life was over, that i felt like a failure... for most people going through a divorce, i think that's normal to feel that way... but i always allowed myself to feel what i was feeling... i didn't deny my anger, my pain, the emotional distress, none of it... and it took awhile... but in the end i've come out stronger then i was... do i still have days where i get a little down?? i sure do!! but now they are not as frequent as they once were... but when it happens, i allow myself the time to work through it... then i move on...it's not simple and i would never say it was... but truly, truly time does help... and repeating "i am exactly where i'm supposed to be" over and over to myself didn't hurt either!!

hang in there!! the women (and men) on this board are great... i may not have posted a lot but i lurked and i read the posts and the advice that was offered, and in part that's what helped me get through...

Ali