Tomorrow is the day

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2003
Tomorrow is the day
2
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 12:31am

Tomorrow I go to see the divorce lawyer. I'm very nervous about it. My STBX and I have been talking divorce for 3 months now so it should be no big deal huh. I've let things coast for some time now but things finally came to a head this past week. He has became agressive and violent so I feel that now is the time to go. I guess I should tell you what happened ...


Early last week I picked him up from work. We were going to go through drive thru and get breakfast. I had our 17 month old son in the back seat . I pull up to place our order and I asked him what he wanted ... well evidentally I asked it wrong because he said "nothing lets go home" so I was like ok and I pulled out of the line and started to leave. Where we live they have a "by pass" which is basically a mini interstate that circles the city. I was pulling out of the parking lot onto the bypass and he reaches over and throws the car into neutral IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. I told him to stop and put it back in gear .. well he did it again while telling me to go back and get our son breakfast. Then this past friday he supposedly got a call from a guy who said that he and I were f***ing ( which I'm not seeing anyone). He leaves work and comes storming in at 6 am wakes me up demanding my car key and starts putting his clothes in the car. He then tells me about the call which I told him was false (obviously since I was asleep). I ask him not to wake our son (who shares a room with us) and he proceeds to slam the drawer shut which wakes up our son. He then walks into our living room and slams his fist into our front door several times (which left 4 complete knuckel marks in the door frame). I just cant take that anymore. Later that night he wants me to be all lovey and have sex with him ... yeah right.


I'm so scared to get things final. I have been a stay at home mom for almost 2 yrs now and although I've been looking for work I havent found a job yet. I don't know how we are going to live. STBX totaled my car a few years ago and we never got me another one so we only have one car (which is in his name) so he will say that he's going to let me keep it for our son .. then backtracks when hes mad and tells me that no he wants the car. One day he says that he'll let me get custody of our son ... then backtracks and says no we are gonna fight for him. Needless to say I'm nervous and confused but I know that this is something I need to do.


So any advice, tips or shoulders to lean on =)




iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 11:06am

Hugs to you. Even when you've been talking divorce for months, going to the lawyer and actually starting the process makes it "real," so I think your nervousness is natural. Also, I'm sure you're nervous about how your husband may act. If you visit the domestic abuse board, you can find some advice for handling the divorce process in a volatile situation:

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rldomesting

-sang

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 3:22pm

Wow oh WOW..... he sounds like a piece of work... and I agree with the other poster.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~