Tomorrows My Birthday

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2004
Tomorrows My Birthday
12
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 5:36pm
So how bad do you think this weekend will be, tomorrow June 2, is my birthday and then if thats not bad enough Sunday June 3 would have been my anniversary... I am going out to dinner with my Sister and her husand and some family.. But it still is going to be sad for me.... But I guess the best birthday present I could give myself is to get over the Loser that left me behind.... Easier said then done...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2007
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 9:14pm

Sorry that all of these things are coming up all at once... my birthday was three weeks after xh moved out and it was incredibly hard... my anniversary was a bit later, but not much easier...


It will get easier with time... and things will start to turn around... I wish you a peaceful weekend...


*hugs*


Julie

 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2004
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 10:58pm
Thank you for the kind words.... I can't wait till it starts getting better...
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 11:44pm

Mine is Tuesday and I plan on celebrating having lost 230 pounds of ugly fat. Namely stbx, lol.

I can get over him leaving but all the crap he's spreading about how awful it was to live with me and how he only stayed for the kids is killing me. *I* am the one who stayed for the kids. He even put it in his match.com profile that the girls (the SOB put their picture on line) are the reason he stayed in our awful marriage. I'm so sick of this chit.

Anyway, happy birthday. May this one mark the beginning of a new phase of your life. A much better one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2004
Sat, 06-02-2007 - 7:25am
I am sorry for what is happening to you, Why do men have to be such jerks sometimes, that is awful for him to say that....Well both will heal from this horrible part of our life. good luck.. and thank you
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sat, 06-02-2007 - 7:56am

I've come to the conclusion that he has to blame me in order to avoid blaming himself. The big difference between he and I is that I do accept some of the blame. He accepts none. It's all my fault.

I have to admit I pretty much checked out of this marriage when we went through marriage counseling. One of the issues discussed in counseling was my dad's suicide attempt. My dad couldn't take living alone after my brother got married. When it was time for him to be released, the doctors said he had to go live with someone. It was down to us but stbx put his foot down and said he wasn't coming here. Dad ended up moving in with his sister, who is still mad that his kids weren't there for him and I have to live the rest of my life knowing I turned my back on my dad in his hour of need for that SOB.

I have never hated someone so much in my life. I so wish he'd left back then. Then I could have had my dad move in with me and just maybe, he might still be alive today. (Dad ended up moving out of his sister's because there was too much friction with the family over his living there.) We don't know how long he was unconscious before he died or if something could have been done had he been found right away (since he collapsed at night, I would have been home). They said it had been, at least, 24 hours since he'd died when he was found.

So much crap for my heart to carry because I made a bad choice at 19 and married the wrong guy.




Edited 6/2/2007 7:59 am ET by gr8fulmom1
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2004
Sat, 06-02-2007 - 8:45am
OMG, that is such a shame, but please at the time you thought you where doing the right thing, yu wanted your marriage to work. I am sorry for your loss of your Dad. But don't carry around the quilt, you can not be sure if you had let your dad move in that things would be different. Everything happens for a reason so "they" say. I am still waiting to find out the reason. But with that being said, release yourself from the guilt. You are a good person and deserve to be happy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2007
Sat, 06-02-2007 - 9:34am
Happy Birthday! Today is your day. Think of all the things you want to start doing for you! I surrounded myself with my friends and family and gave myself my own birthday party for the first time. It helped me get through the day and I realized that everyone who took time to spend with me on that day were those who were going to help me through the coming days, weeks, months, etc. Celebrate you today!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sat, 06-02-2007 - 11:51am

I know they would have been different for me. My dad was always there for me. Getting to return that favor would have been an honor.

I did what I had to do. You can't make your spouse take in your parent. However, for me, this is the point I checked out. I would stay for the kids past that but that was it. Now I wish I hadn't. They ended up being put through a divorce anyway. I should have just left and got a place with dad.

It amazes me how angry I am that stbx waited until now to leave. Sadly I know why now. I was one class away from a master of arts in teaching and a 50% pay cut. Apparently, I'm not longer worth putting up with at half the salary.

I hope his next girlfriend is high maintenance and bleeds him dry.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Sat, 06-02-2007 - 12:54pm
Happy birthday
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2006
Sat, 06-02-2007 - 3:54pm

kathsassie

happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday dear kathsassie (if that is your real name :~) lol) happy birthday to you.

chin up girl. you are fantastic.

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