Too nice?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2005
Too nice?
6
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 5:44am
My H says he wants to make this as easy as possible..He will leave me on his med coverage as long as he can. 3 yrs he thinks. Then asked if I want him to take $ out of his 401 to pay off our debts. Guess I was taken by surprise. He probably can't wait for this to be over as well.
I am looking for the catch here..we have mediation next week.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
In reply to: betrayed131
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 8:19am

<>

I would consult with your lawyer to see whether he might be trying to sneak something by on you (something you're entitled to but haven't asked for perhaps, and that's why he wants to settle quickly). If there's nothing, it might just be that he has a good lawyer who advised him to go for a reasonable settlement, because when you fight it often ends up that even if you end up paying less to your spouse it costs you a lot more money because of the legal fees.

-sang

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
In reply to: betrayed131
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 8:25am

Welllllllllll, idk... I could easily say check with your lawyer to see what he might be trying to pull, but I see another point too.


My ex gave me sole custody, all the furniture, child support in the amount of 356.00 bi-weekly regardless of his job status among other things....


Why? To make it go as easy and as quick as possible. Smart for him? no. But he still gave up lots of things ( that he is regretting now but can't change it and won't change it ) to make the divorce happen as quickly and painless as possible. He might just be trying to get things over with.


JMO.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2005
In reply to: betrayed131
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 12:15am

You must do whatever you can to find out. I found out too late. He did keep me on his medical insurance, but I found out by going to our PO Box. I I found out he has maybe near a million dollars, not the $80,000 he said. He's been secretly living in the best hotel in NYC for the past 3 months with his girl friend. $2,500 a night. And he has summer home in the Hamptons.

We did mediation. He threatened that if I got a lawyer or fought him at all, I'd get nothing. He's a very powerful man. All his friends are the best lawyers here. I've been sick and depressed, finally getting over 3 broken ribs. 3 months in bed. I couldn't battle him. So I just signed whatever I thought I needed. I couldn't take his wrath. He's crazy.

Now he's furious because I opened all his mail! He's not going give me any emotional support or help me organize to move.

Be careful!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: betrayed131
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 4:17pm
Remain guarded.... and try to keep him as happy as you can to preserve his mindset :-)

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
In reply to: betrayed131
Sat, 06-11-2005 - 8:41pm
You can be skeptical, and still be open to working it out in a way that makes the whole process easier. Nobody should go through this process without a lawyer, let him make his reasonable offer and ask your attorney if it's what you'd reasonably expect to get in court anyway, or what other options you might have. Keep us posted.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2001
In reply to: betrayed131
Sat, 06-11-2005 - 10:52pm

I would definitely see a lawyer and be prepared for the worst. My H and I had conversations and I THOUGHT we had come to some agreements...when I show up for our child support settlement he has this NASTY lawyer with him and basically tried to screw me over. I kind of let him because I just wanted it to be over with. Next time we have a court date I am going to be prepared. I am scared that he has more sneaky stuff up his sleeve.

Anyway, not to say your H will do the same, but if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is!