Too soon

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2004
Too soon
2
Tue, 07-19-2005 - 1:37pm

Hello Everyone,

I am not currently going through a divorce but I have found myself involved, to a degree, with a man who is currently going through a divorce. Well, actually his divorce was final last Friday. He and his wife have been separated for about 6 months. Apparently there was another man and so the marriage ended.

My question is this...I have seen him only once. We actually have a past together, nothing serious, but some chemistry. Though we obviously did not act on this before the marriage broke up he contacted me about a month ago and we met up. We spent the weekend together. Is it too soon for him to even contemplate another relationship or are my suspicions acurate that he's just trying to connect with someone because he's feeling lonely and unsure of himself?

Now, it as been a month since I have seen him though he emails me at least two or three times a week. I also email him. I am trying very hard not to let my emotions become involved because I am very unsure of his mental state right now. I am attempting to keep my emotions out of it until I know for sure but it's hard when there was chemistry there before and now we have acted on it.

I don't want to pressure him, haven't been, and don't intend on doing it in the future. I just wanted the opinion of someone who has been where he is so that I may gain a better understanding of what it is he is searching for, or not searching for, for that matter.

Any opinions would be greatly appreciated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
In reply to: ioctbaby
Tue, 07-19-2005 - 1:51pm

>>>Is it too soon for him to even contemplate another relationship or are my suspicions acurate that he's just trying to connect with someone because he's feeling lonely and unsure of himself?<<<

It is very wise to use caution. It may be that he's ready to move on, it may be that he's lonely. Only time will tell IMHO.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2003
In reply to: ioctbaby
Tue, 07-19-2005 - 2:32pm
I can completely relate. I am dating someone who has only been separated for a few months. He wasn't even filed yet when I first met him. We moved too fast and we now have to slow down because we are moving way faster than his divorce process. You shouldn't label your relationship as rebound or anything yet. You will only know in time. I can honestly say I have fallen in love with the man I am with now, and I feel that he loves me, but we can't plan for the future. At least his divorce, and you can plan if it gets that far. All I can say to you is, take is slow and get to know each other and see if it what you both want.