Too Strange

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2005
Too Strange
1
Mon, 06-20-2005 - 2:04pm

We have decided to divorce. DDay was 1/31/05.
I was at the point of muddling thru this until my kids were out of high school. Then, my H decided in March to change our financial arrangement. After our Chap 7 in 1997, he gave me his paychecks and I paid all our bills. I handled the checkbook. That has since been taken away. I only get grocery money. Anything else I need to ask for. Says it was on the advice of his lawyer.
I work PT. My $ is what you would call pizza money for the kids. He doesn't withold money but it is humiliating to have to suddenly ask for money for everything the kids need.

The second thing, is he had lunch with the OW and my 11 yr old daughter who at the time of the lunch, knew this was the woman Daddy had an affair with.

We are in divorce mediation. The kids know nothing yet. We look like one big ol' happy family. For some reason this is more painful than if we were fighting.
The kids will be so shocked. I feel like we are living a charade. It is tuff to bear.
He has been apt hunting. Breaks my heart to see the kids with him and know what is about to come.
Fathers Day was hard. We went to dinner. I kept thinking I can't believe what is going to happen. We have been waiting to tell them when schools is out. Tomorrow is their last day.
I fear their pain.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2005
In reply to: betrayed131
Mon, 06-20-2005 - 3:54pm
Hi, I'm sorry that this process is so hard. I understand what you're going thru. My h and I are just starting the legal process. Our house is sold, and settlement is at the end of the summer. My kids have know about our unhappiness for several years. We seperated a few years ago for a short time. Thye took the news very well. i mean, I know that they are sad, and probably nervous, but I reassure them that we love them, they will be safe, they will have both of us whenever they need us. I know it's kinda cliche, but it is true, and i will do the best i can to make sure their childhoods are happy. Good luck.
Oh and we told our kids together. No tears, just very open and honest.