Totally Insane!
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| Mon, 06-20-2005 - 9:42am |
Hi, I am a lurker and I need help! Someone please tell me that this is some what a normal thing and doesn't mean too much. Yesterday I took my son to his Dad's to spend time with him and because he lives so far away I stayed as well. We went to the pool and had a couple of drinks and really had a great time. I was taking a shower after and he came in and we had sex. The crazy thing is that I wanted him to, I made sure the bathroom door was unlocked! I feel very confused, why did I do that, why did I want to?? I left him! I hate him, he has treated me like crap for so long, especially after we separated. It's been 5 months and it seems to be getting worse not better for me emotionally. It's like I want him back but, there is no way that is going to happen. We were together almost 12 years and we did have some good times. I just need to focus on the bad stuff. Someone please tell me I am not certifiable!!
Jessica


Your not alone, I ve made that mistake a few times but its been 3 mths since the last mistake and I have no intention of ever doing it again. It keeps me screwed up and him on an ego trip. It happened, let it go. Today is a new day, new beginnings. The one thing im trying to do now is love myself so I wont look for love or validation from him. Ive been trying to get that from him and he knows and wont even give me the satisfaction. And I feel a "real friend" someone who "truly loved me" and always will and still cares should have had no problem doing that for me. But he wont and i have to accept it and move on.
So be strong. Its 3mths and counting for me and I get more and more stronger everyday that goes by. Not sleeping with him shows him I dont really need him and he's not all that. NO GOOD can come of it unless u want him back and he's willing to give you EVERYTHING YOU NEED AND WANT in a relationship.