Totally lost and confused.....
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Totally lost and confused.....
| Fri, 08-12-2005 - 1:35am |
This is long sorry....Back in May (my b-day) nice gift I got...My DH said he was confused and didn't know what he wants anymore-wants seperation needs space and time to figure things out. Earlier in the week prior to separation I had found out cell record that he has been calling an ex -hadn't seen in over 10 yrs. he always thought her 16 yr old dd was his- ex had 2 other men tested supposedly(was a lie) and during this separation has found out he now may be this girl's father why now after 16 yrs??. My DH has no kids just my son who is now 18. We've been together 8 yrs and he has had no contact with OW during our marraige til May. So now we are in 2 mo of seperation and he now claims he does not love me anymore. Everyday since May, he has called me and we got together often...always telling me he misses me and loves me. But he has "soul" searching to do and soon will be ready to re-commit. I realize he needs to be there for the 16 yr old due to getting out of drug rehab and many problems she has. But now in 1 week he all of a sudden doesn't think he's in love with me anymore??? What's up with that? I am totally devastated and a wreck...have been since this all began. I am so confused and I do not know what to do. Do I keep fighting for this relationship or do I just let go. He's always shutting me out turning to ex. Why isn't he mad at her for withholding all this info and for letting it out now??? I can't stand the pain..I can't stop crying. I am soo lost right now.

I know exactly what your feeling, but you know what they are not worth it. They are not worth the tears or the pain. I know it hurts, I'm hurting too. I've only been seperated for 7-days today, been moved out only for 3-days, and it is soo hard. I'm finding out that he was cheating on me and lying to me about where he was going and what he was doing. It sucks real bad but you know what we ARE better than that. We CAN do better than this. I would say let him go, hon, there are other fish in the sea and if not hey live it up. We were together for 7yrs, and he has pushed me away for 2yrs. I'm not going to take his crap anymore and neither should you. We as women need to stand up for ourselves and let it shine, don't hide behind that shadow. Come here and vent your heart out, hell I've got at least three or four posts on here just in the last 2days. It helps to come here and let it out, and listen to others stories so you know your not alone. I thought I was alone but you know what we are not. All of my h friends back me up 100% and my family couldn't be happier, so I think I can do this. Get the support you need, get out of the house, and just have fun. I know it's hard and your not sure where to start, but it'll come to you trust me. It's all just starting to fall into place, I know there will still be bad days but nothing I can't handle. We ARE STRONG WOMEN and WE CAN DO IT!!!!!
Stacy