Totally new and completely confused
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| Tue, 08-12-2008 - 10:28am |
Out of the blue, after 10 years of marriage and 12 years together he told me that he no longer wanted to be with me. We even moved to his country so he could be closer to his family and now he's totally brainwashed by his mother that I am an awful person. Why? Because instead of talking to me about problems he felt we had (and I did ask him many times what was on his mind) he decided to take those problems to his mother. After blindsiding me with this news of our marriage being dumped, he then said a few choice tidbits. His whole family hates me. His mother blames me for his depression (but never gave me credit for supporting him during his unemployment periods including getting a job in a foreign country where I do not speak the language!). When I asked if he would consider therapy of some sort for the both of us as it is painfully obvious that we have some serious communication issues, his response is "I discussed it with my mother and she says it is a waste of time".
Why is it that he turned into one of those men who hit mid-life and have a meddling mother that makes his decisions for him? Sigh. Thanks for letting me vent.

Hmmm.... Sounds like an enmeshment relationship.
He probably just never really grew up... and won't as long as his momma keeps protecting him.
My EX told me at one point during our marraige that I was "just like the mom he never had".... yes, he had... and still HAS a mother of his own!
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~