trouble with teens
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| Tue, 07-12-2005 - 11:26am |
My Stbx(abusive control freak) will not communicate with me on any level. This also include any issues dealing with dd's 16&14. He leaves them to let me know when they will be with him. I posted before about dd's being caught in the middle. Now they have learned to play the game so to speak. They deliberately don't tell him info about their lives, school, behaviour that he should be aware of, knowing that since he hangs up on me every time I try to communicate to him about them he will not find out. And when he does he contradicts any punishment that I may have enforced ie grounding etc and puts the blame on me. The last several weekends have really taken their toll Two weekends ago-his wknd- 16yo tells him she is staying at a friends(which she does every time she's there- but did not stay at the friends but went out with friends and stayed out all night. This past wknd he had a family bbq . It was my wknd with dd's and would not switch even though they had this family getogether for neice's upcoming wedding. So tell dd's that he will bring them home after the bbq neglecting to let anyone know what time.and then he lets 16yo go out at 11:00 pm, I told her no but says "Dad said I could" and left. At 1:00 am he brings home 14 yr old and she can't understand why I'm upset " I was with Dad" and at the same time I can't get ahold of 16yo on her phone b/c she wouldn't answer. and she gets home @ 2:30 am which she very well knows is not acceptable, curfew is negotiable depending on where and who she is with and is never that late and I didn't know where she was. As a result she is grounded again( seems continuosly lately) but knows full well when she goes to Dad's this wknd it won't be enforced. How do I get through to him what he is doing to dd's by always underming any authority or punishment I have with them.
By the way dd's live with me full time and he is 11 mos behind in child support. He and his family have alochol abuse problems. they were all, not dd's, drunk this past wknd and my girls think it's funny!!!!
Any advice??

Sorry about the rant I am just frustrated and extremely worried about my 16yo behaviour. I know that if I was 16 and could have gotten away with it I would have tried. But now she gets away with it every other weekend when at her dad's until she gets back home and I have to deal with disciplining her. I hate being the heavy all of the time b/c she's angry that I taken away priviledges and I'm angry b/c she's pushed limits that she knows are in place. In short I'm always mopping up the messes she makes at her dad's. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Not FAir
They are staring to think that I am the B***ch and he is a saint. Are they ever going to remember what life was like when he lived with us and show any respect for me???????????
Even though he never did!!! They are starting to treat me like he did!!!! Again ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!