Troubling -- ADD meds/DS/STBX ...health

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Registered: 05-07-2003
Troubling -- ADD meds/DS/STBX ...health
4
Mon, 07-24-2006 - 2:43pm

I just sent this email to my lawyer:

"Spoke with STBX this morning, and he made the following comment to me: "I'd appreciate it if when you send DS here, you didn't give him his meds. He's not normal on them, and I want him un-medicated." Which is quite disturbing, as DS's "normal" is a child with no impulse control, who bounces off the walls. A couple of weeks ago, we had our final session with the FST social workers, Kate and Melissa. The BOTH of them told STBX that is was in DS's best interest if he stayed on the meds as much as possible, so that he learns some impulse control. Kate even had been here for a 1 on 1 with DS when he'd come from STBX's and was un-medicated (twice). She stressed to STBX how unfocused DS was for those 1 on 1s... how belligerent he was when we tried to play games, how he didn't listen, and was uncooperative, how he quit the game we were trying to play out of sheer frustration. Obviously the observations of 3 trained social workers, plus DS's counselor, pediatrician, a child psychiatrist, 2 child psychologists, and DS's teachers mean absolutely ZIP to STBX. He was diagnosed with ADD, and ALL of those people (including myself and other family members) see a huge improvement in DS's behavior when he's taking his meds. Like I said, "normal" is classic ADD for DS. "Normal" for my chiropractor is having Type 1 diabetes, yet he has to have 4 shots of insulin a day to be balanced.

Also, I told STBX that I had to stop working at the ice cream shop-- it's just too exhausting. I showed him my test results, which said I was on the verge of a serious collapse, and was beyond low levels to function the way I have been (just going on pure adrenaline, evidently). I reminded him that my doctor had advised me in February NOT to work for a least a year, or until my levels were at an acceptable level. STBX's comment was: "Nobody FORCED you to go to work." Which infuriated me to no end. I held it together, and told him that I HAD to go back to work to pay the $1,400. cell phone bill. Again he started with he didn't know how many minutes, etc. I said to him, "One call in one day was FOUR HOURS. You can't figure out that you're using minutes up? You know you can check ON YOUR PHONE to see how many minutes you've used..." STBX: "I didn't know that." Me: "You managed to figure out how to use the call forwarding; look in your owner's manual." STBX: "I paid for the call forwarding." Whatever.

Oh, one last thing... I've made a follow-up appointment with the chronic fatigue specialist I saw in February. My appointment is August 7th. I figured a progress report from her may be a good idea, since we'll be going to court later next month.

Take care,
SusieYippin"

I told my mom about STBX's comments about the meds, and she was absolutely floored. She can tell in 30 seconds if DS has had his meds, and she sees the difference in him.

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Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 07-24-2006 - 5:26pm

Oh Susie... and that's so unfair to your son!!!


I'm thinking about you and hoping that you can make some positive headway about this.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

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Registered: 05-07-2003
Mon, 07-24-2006 - 6:46pm

Thanks for the kind words, Karen. I spoke with Kate a little while ago, and she suggested that I notify the prescribing physician about STBX not giving DS his meds, as well as his counselor. I told her that STBX has his own agenda-- STBX sat there and heard what she had to say, and it mattered not one iota. That he acts a certain way around "the poewers that be", but when it's him and I-- he's a different person. That it seemed that he took a statement made in in our last session, and turned it around so he'd sound caring and reasonable-- Kate had said to STBX: "on the days that DS is going back to his mom's, can you give him his meds?"; STBX turned it around so that the inference was that I dope DS up, and he's "normal" around STBX.

STBX also claims that DS cannot get to sleep because of the meds, but that is utter hogwash. DS has always had a dificult time getting to sleep. Even BEFORE being on his ADD meds, DS would be up until nearly midnight (never napped either, unless it was in the car). STBX doesn't give him his meds at his place, but DS is up until midnight there, after STBX is sleeping, so I don't think the meds/sleeplessness is an issue. I told Kate this too, and that the child psychiatrist wanted to prescribe a sleeping med for DS, because he's consistently awake until 10, 10:30, 11, 11:30 p.m., and we're all exhausted (especially DS). I was going to try DS on melatonin (with the child psychiatrist's approval, of course), to see if that helps.

I'm sorry to hear that you have chronic fatigue as well. It totally rots, doesn't it? I do the adrenal saliva test, and my most recent test (done 2 weeks ago) came up in stage 7 adrenal fatigue... super bad, but I'm taking massive amounts of supplements and replacement adrenal hormones and extracts to counteract the exhaustion and get my levels into the reference range.

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Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 07-24-2006 - 11:10pm

Obviously you can't just walk into your child's MD and say "he has ADD, give me some drugs"


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

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Registered: 05-07-2003
Tue, 07-25-2006 - 9:18am

Yeah, the self-medication issue is big for me... STBX is an alcoholic, both of his siblings have alcohol/substance abuse problems-- BIL is going to court today for his 2nd OUI in a year, which includes OUI drugs... has had issues with threatening behavior... assault and battery against his step-son... SIL nearly died 5 years ago from alcohol-reated pancreatitis, and was in the ICU for a month, with us preparing for her possible funeral... even afterwards, when my father was very ill with colon cancer, SIL told me that she LOVED Oxycontin, and in fact traded 'scripts with some of her friends... she's been heavily into coke, experimented with heroin, and who-knows-what-else...

A dear friend of my mom's has had problems with her adopted 26 y/o son who has ADD-- he would sell his ritalin and buy drugs with the cash. My mom's friend has been SUPER-supportive with regard to getting DS on meds. Her son wasn't diagnosed until he was 14, and the chances of having greater success with ADD kids increase if you can get them on a good schedule for meds in grade school. Her DH is my chiro; he deals with neurologists all the time, and is very well-educated on the meds issues surrounding ADD.

It's just so frustrating that STBX just completely and utterly discounts the professional opinions of all these medical people. If STBX doesn't see it in Reader's Digest, then it can't be so.