Trying to be the bigger person--am I crazy??!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2008
Trying to be the bigger person--am I crazy??!
Sat, 10-22-2011 - 9:33pm


I am currently going through a separation.

Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004


You can love someone and not be able to live with them.

And you can't make them be the person you dearly want them to be. They CHOOSE to be who they are. They CHOOSE to be addicted. The CHOOSE to cheat, lie, steal, drink, take drugs, etc. etc. etc.

Now is the time for YOU to choose a different path. And the first place you need to go is This is the sister organization of Alcoholics Anonymous. They are there specifically for the friends and family of alcoholics. They can provide you with tremendous insight on your STBX's addiction, it's impact on your family and more importantly, how YOU CAN NOT FIX HIM.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

Basically what your DH wants is not to have any consequences for his actions and to be able to have his GF and still have you in his life as a friend, but not be responsible--he already said that he doesn't believe that the 2 of you are meant to be H&W--so I assume that you are heading toward divorce.