Trying my best to hang in there

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Trying my best to hang in there
1
Fri, 06-24-2005 - 5:32pm
Trying to make it thru a little better today. Still bursting out crying but it only has
happened 4 times today. I am trying to keep myself busy so that I will not call him. I just cant imagine life without him and He is the kind that will have some one else right away. that will crush me. I hate being this heartbroken and confused. I love him but it is obvious that he does not love me at the level that I deserve. I want some one who will love me unconditionally, i really hope to find it someday. things just dont look very goood right now.. I have never ever felt this lonely. I did go to the gym today and forced myself to work out. I figure if he is going to dump me, I am just going to get back at him by looking hot and stuff.....LOL....that will show him......
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Fri, 06-24-2005 - 6:54pm

Congratulations! You have begun the process of taking care of YOU for a change :) The gym is a great idea!


I will admit that I lost weight after he left. I was pregnant and given the experience I had with my first child, I gained 80 and pretty much stayed that way, I thought for sure I would have a hard time losing the weight from the second child. I gained about 60 with baby number 2 and because of the stress and how busy I was, I lost 80 pounds. I also cut sugars and stopped drinking pepsi. I thought, I will show him I don't need him to be hot. ( lol ) I got down to 30'ish pounds lighter than I was when we got married and when we were planning pregnancy number 2. I thought, that'll show him! I totally know where you are coming from.


Once I started working on me, I began to feel at peace with what was happening. I had to get my confidence back because as we all know when your spouse leaves you, your confidence goes right along with him/her. I got that back and then started working on my mind. I changed my way of thinking and here I am, 23 months later in a committed relationship with a wonderful man and we have our first child together. I am, for the first time in years, happy. I love being me.


Oh, and I lost another 85 after this pregnancy. I am working out and feeling great. Am I "showing" him now, yep because I am happy, healthy and gorgous daaaaaaaaling!


Hugs,


Angelena