Trying not to care

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2008
Trying not to care
Thu, 06-26-2008 - 7:43am

OK. So my STBX went to play poker with some friends last night. I have no idea when he came home last night and I keep telling myself that I don't care where he is or what he is doing. Then I wake up this morning to find that his wedding ring is on his key chain. Now he was awfully concerned the other day when I wasn't wearing mine. (I was doing the dishes). I just have this nagging feeling that he's seeing someone else. Of course I've had this feeling WAY before he asked for a divorce.

See last summer he had an online affair and I've been having trouble trusting him ever since, but was willing to work on it because I loved him and I wanted us to be a family. I have also noticed that every time he goes out with his friends, there is this one girl in particular that is ALWAYS with them. Now he says that he's not fooling around because he knows that if he did, I could use that against him in the divorce. I have already found inappropriate emails between the two. Nothing sexual, but it was like "I really enjoyed hanging out with you today. I would like to take you rock climbing sometime. We should go get some coffee tomorrow." Just stuff a married man should not be saying to a single woman. They also work together. I know that he is unhappy, but he is still MARRIED!!!!!! I'm unhappy too, but you don't see me trying to start an affair. I have more respect for myself and for my son than that.

We are trying to stay on friendly terms because of our DS but he is making it harder for me every day. Like I said, I'm trying not to care what he does, but the more I try, the angrier I get. If it weren't for my son, I wish I had never met him.

Thanks for listening. I really needed to vent.