UGH

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2006
UGH
3
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 12:16pm

so today would be my 21st wedding anniversary.

stbx sent me flowers. wtf!

if he wanted to keep the marriage in tact, he should have stopped drinking, found a job and kept it. what part of "i am divorcing you" doesn't make sense.

i honestly believe this is just another attempt to make me feel sorry for him and guilty that i left.

as if i don't have enough to worry about with my dad being in the hospital.

what

what
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2006
In reply to: whatabadidea
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 1:06pm

Sorry you are having to deal with that. I just left my H after 6 years and he is trying the whole guilt thing on me too. He constantly sends me text messages and e-mail and gets mad when I dont respond. It drives me crazy.

I am not sure why they just wont accept that you want a divorce. Hang in there. Maybe he will get it eventually...or at least that is what I am waiting for.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
In reply to: whatabadidea
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 1:36pm

Sheesh. If your STBX or my ex had put a 10th the effort into their marriages as they did to acting like complete psychos after we filed for divorce, maybe they wouldn't be divorced! It infuriates me that these ex's can behave deplorably for years on end, but when we finally get the courage to leave the marriage, it's all OUR fault. How, exactly, does that make sense?

I'd give the flowers away to someone who can enjoy them!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2006
In reply to: whatabadidea
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 2:11pm

this is the card he sent with the flowers:

"I wasn't sure what to do this day this year. I do know I still love and care for you. I'm holding out hope for us." love always, "stbx" xxoo

let me answer this card:

"I wasn't sure what to do this day this year" How about doing what i am doing. Going about my business as it is just another day.

"I do know I still love and care for you". Ok, is this why you refused to work a full time job since july 2002, continued to drink excessivly, slept on the couch for 4 years, exhaused over 100k in MY mutual fund to substitue your income during your midlife crisis, caused our home to go to foreclosure and eventually causing us to file bankruptcy. WOW, thanks for caring for me.

"I'm holding out hope for us." Yeah right, this reconcillation will happen when pigs fly, hell freezes over, the sun explodes, or in other words, get over it, find something else to do with your time. i am never coming back to you the booze, the stress, the tension. i don't care if i live in a tent, eat dirt or bugs, i will never ever go back to him.

"love, 'stbx' xxoo" "love" are you kidding me?? You can xxoo my derriere.

i dont' want to hate him. it makes me feel ugly and angry on the outside and inside. come on, stbx, does a flower arrangement and a card work after this point? i am 40 years old. flowers don't cut it. i look at the flowers and i think, ok, how about reimbursing me for all of the bills i paid for you jan thru april this year AFTER I MOVED OUT AND YOU QUIT YET ANOTHER JOB. your water bill, your gas bill, i gave you money for food, money for gas, paid for your golf outing when you billed it to the club account and then told your golf buddies that you paid for it at the time you played. maybe he could put couple thousand back in my 401 k,(a 401k that i worked hard for at my last job for 13 years) maybe a roof over my childrens head, money for food and not booze might help, i doubt it. maybe for someone else it would, but not for me. i am so done with the BS i can't see straight.

what

what