Ugh. this is so messed up

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2008
Ugh. this is so messed up
5
Sun, 01-06-2008 - 12:55pm

My bf (of 4.5 yrs) and i separated back in June because he is an alcoholic and would not stop drinking. his father is a recovering alcoholic, so he went down there (florida) to 'clean up'...per se. At least that was the plan. We were on a 'break', at least that's what i thought. we spoke every day at least once, and he came to visit me twice. this whole time i thought he was 'recovering' and that we would re-unite in the spring.


WELL. I went to florida to visit my family for the holidays which is about an hour and a half from his father's house. He came to visit me on the 27th (mind you not christmas) and told me that he was seeing someone down there, and this started some time in October. He went on of course to say that the relationship was really rocky etc etc etc. I was so devastated. I was so shocked. No one told me. I was the last to find out. I was so upset I couldnt function. And, i wasn't leaving until the 2nd. He called me on the 31st and we talked for an hour and a half - it was real early in the am and the conversation was really strange. I didn't hear from him after that - i just let it go.


the day i left, i get an email from him begging me to take him back. i couldnt believe it. i was so upset i could barely get on the plane. he wants to get married, start a family, etc. he said 'you take all the time you need ill be patient'. so then that night i get a text message that says 'i dont want you to im me any more' (this all sound so frigginn high schoolish) so the next day i emailed him asking what was up. he said (i no longer believe anything he says now) that 'donna' the new gf wrote that - got his phone, read all his texts to me and looked up all the calls so now she knows that he's been playing her too since he told her that he told me about her back in october. so he then tells me that he still means what he said in the email and yada yada yada. then he said that the only way i can contact him is via email. WTF i said - i pay for your f'n cell phone and if i can't call it then i shouldnt be paying for it - and his reply to that was 'i guess you made your decision - i wish you all the best in your life'

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Sun, 01-06-2008 - 1:02pm

Why all the drama over a man who is obviously not taking care of the issue at hand with is alcohol???

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 7:55am

Line,


Run don't walk in the opposite direction from this relationship!


WHY would you want to stay with a guy who is alcoholic and can't make a commitment to you?


Get over any notion you have of "saving him" from himself. Alcoholics put booze ahead of everything else. Don't be a fool and keep pining after this guy. Let him go.


You deserve better.

CL-Wisdomtooth2020


Learn to spell. Some commonly misspelled words on this board:


They're = contraction of "they are"; They're going to the store.

CL-Wisdomtooth2020

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2007
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 8:09am

Dump him, and then thank God you never married him.

Seriously.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2003
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 12:00pm

Run away screaming.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2006
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 4:04pm

I'm new to this board and I read your post. Twice actually.

There are so many similarities between our stories. In fact a wave of emotion flowed through me reading your struggle. The kind where you feel your eyes getting full.

It's so painful to find out about cheating. To be so supportive and have all the confidence that your guy is getting better and you're the amazing woman during their time of struggle.

What's worse is that you know you're better than the whole situation, it's just painful to feel that rejection, that pain. It makes a person who is usually confident and happy, pathetic and desperate. Desperate to have things back to the way they were. And it's odd how the table turns. They f*cked up but you want to take them back to show them how badly they messed up. Well...that's how I felt anyway.

I know this road all too well. I wish I had perfect advice for you. I can only lend support and understanding. Be strong. Give your cell to a trusted friend so you don't answer it when he calls. (that's what I have to do). Surround yourself with friends and family.

This isn't an easy road, but you got through today.

Love,
Maelynn.

Lilypie Expecting a baby Ticker