Unbelievable... need support
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| Sat, 03-22-2008 - 6:16pm |
My STBX just announced to me that he has made plans to travel to a foreign country to spend 10 fun filled days and nights with the OW. Meanwhile, I get to stay here in the middle of the divorce mediation and take care of the children. I am incredibly hurt and offended that he is going on this trip at this point. He seems to think it is just fine that he gets to have 'personal time' and it isn't any of my business what he does with it. He is still living in our home. I know about the trip because he put it on the family calendar and I asked him what it was about.
Am I crazy to be upset? should I let it go? should I shred his passport so he can't go? shred the plane tickets he has told me will be arriving this week? (I really wouldn't do those last two but the thoughts had occurred to me).
Please tell me I am justified in being hurt. How am I going to watch him go out the door to her? I know we are getting divorced but this is all so fresh for me.
Please give me some support...
Hurtnlost

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I can imagine how confusing and hurtful this is to you. My STBX is pretty much the same way---inconsiderate, his needs come first, I have basically 100% of the childcare/household responsibility and he's living a great bachelor life right about now. He whines occasionally about missing his kids, but then he's able to sit in a bar all evening, rather than stopping by to help me deal with a parenting issue. What-ev-er.
I try to make myself feel slightly better by knowing these actions are proof of why we shouldn't be married any longer. It doesn't always help, but sometimes it at least gets me through the moment.
Hang in there. Big, big hugs!
Can you hold money in a divorce settlement like you hold money in escrow...???lol
((((HUGS))))
Dear Hurtnlost,
My heart so goes out to you. BUT this I know from the words of comfort you have given me, .... that you are very strong and an amazing person. There is no way, shape, or form that you should deserve such a person in your life. This should totally solidfy your resolve to push through a divorce as soon as possible. You are way better than this and deserve love and appreciation from some one
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Whose = having ownership of, as in "the person whose house got flooded."
Who's = contraction of "who is," as in "the person who is left..."
Sorry, Wisdomtooth, I couldn't resist... and figured it was fair game since you're policing the grammar anyway! All in fun, no offense intended.
Freelance
Thank you for your kind words. I have been feeling like I just can't breathe lately. Tonight we are going to talk and figure out the timeline for him to leave the house. I can't live with him here anymore. He is now planning to leave for his trip next month and will be with the OW for *our* wedding anniversary as well as for Mother's Day. What a great guy huh?! (just a bit of sarcasm!).
We are going through divorce mediation and I am hoping to have things resolved ASAP. I just can't deal with him on a regular basis anymore. I know that he cares about me on some level (he has said so repeatedly and is really trying to do the right things in terms of spousal support agreements, etc) but right now, I really hate him. I hate that he is doing this. I wish he would at least wait until our divorce is final. I guess it
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