unwanted divorce??
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| Wed, 07-12-2006 - 8:06pm |
Long story short-H & I were seperated 12 years ago for 2 years-I decided it was time to divorce--I was ready.He suggested we date & see how it went-I told him I could date the devil as long as he went home-it's living with you that there are issues. He moved back in 5 days later-my gut told me he was only there for the kids (2) We proceeded to buy a new home 9 years ago--things progressivly became worse-distance-we were living seperate lives under the same roof. He felt he was only there for the $ I felt I was here to be Merry Maids--alot of tension--resentment. He is unable to show love & affection & I know due to my fear of abandonment I did not allow him into me.We pretty much lived as roomates. I did have an A-he found a not I wrote claiming the only reason to return after a vacation I was on was for that person-yes-I admit my wrong-very wrong choice to go out of my marriage.
Issues now are this marriage issues were never resolved from years ago-never. His solution was to act of all was great-clean sweep he said. I now realize that should not of been done which in turn has caused why we are where we are now. He has been out of the house 4 months now & filed for div. the other day-I do not want this-I feel it is the cop out way-that NO fight was put up & it was allowed to die. He said he fears if he returned & we had problems it would be as it is now--he has no trust in me or our marriage. Another twist-he is dating the same woman he was seeing when he returned 10 years ago-I doubt she ever left-no proof-only a few calls to her cell before he moved but she is in real estate so he can use that as an excuse to of called her.
Is there any way / ideas to show someone they are really bailing the easy way-I told him it killed me the day he left-he asked why I didn't say something-how could I when he looked so damn happy??? I have tried to open myelf to him via e-mails-all my fears that I was never a priority to him etc..-we are now down to I am to only contact him via my attorney which I do not have. I truly do love this man-I asked him to ask himself why I never left & I was in a much better position financially 4 years ago than I am today & easily could of done so yet didn't. I want to fight to save this yet have no idea how to do so....

hi ducky
I sent you an email,,i would suggest both of you go to marriage counseling ,,go as a couple and alos