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| Sat, 02-11-2006 - 1:35pm |
It’s been quite around here lately. I cancelled my appointment with the attorney. I had called back to ask about other fees other than the $300.00 an hour! They require a $10,000 retainer fee! I have made other calls to look into going somewhere else. My friend said that was way too much! I did a lot of research online about the different ways of filing. I will make an appointment with someone to get information on my rights and things like that. I won’t know which avenue I will have to take until I tell him I want a divorce and see his reaction. I’m hoping for understanding and cooperation. But I know better not to expect it!
We are doing a refi on our mortgage and I talked him into paying off my car and our credit cards. I really needed to have my car paid off before this all happens. I can’t afford a apartment and a car payment too! I know that he will probably be furious that I had plans for a divorce and took $$ out to pay off my car. Everything is going smoothly so far.
In my first post here I mentioned that my 14yrold DD is not biologically my DH, and that she didn’t know about this. I had tried to talk to her a couple of times about it. Last year we were looking at her baby book and I asked her if she ever wondered why Daddy wasn’t in the pictures, she just said “sometimes” and I asked her if she wanted to know and she said “no not really”. I knew that I had to tell her before it comes out in the divorce. Last night we talked and she already knew as I had suspected. I explained everything and she doesn’t seem interested. I didn’t push her to talk about it. It does scare me that she has known for a while and didn’t say anything to me. I hope I did the right thing! I know that she already knew but I feel like now in a couple of months I’ll have to tell her we are getting a divorce. It just seems like a lot at one time.
Thanks for listening!
Taylor

I will also say a prayer for your daughter. I know what she is going through has to be tough. Hugs, Brenda
Hugs, Brenda
I don't know what a DD or a DH is (I'm new to anything relating to computers and web sites) but I do know that teenagers know more than they let on. You did the right thing to tell her the truth- it sets a good example that telling the truth can hurt but is ultimately (usually) the best thing. Let her have her space, but tell her that it will help to talk and let her know that you'll be ready to listen when she's ready to talk.
Regarding your attorney- he sounds like a thief. I hired one of the best attorneys in my state (CT) and she only charged me $250/hr with a $5,000 retainer. Keep asking around- maybe I got a great deal (but I doubt it- I don't have much luck). By the way- at our local court house, you get a "free" do-it-yourself divorce guidebook when you file. But I wouldn't advise it- you know those ads on TV where the guy is sitting at his table with the butter knife and he calls his doctor and the doctor says "OK, now make a 10 inch incision with the knife just above your navel"... and the guy looks at his pathetic butter knife and asks the the doctor "shouldn't you be doing this?" It's like that with divorce. GET AN ATTORNEY AND GET A GOOD ONE. NOW.
Laura
You definitely should be able to find an attorney with a much lower retainer..... and as far as the house refinance and paying off the car and other joint debt...... it might be the car that you drive.... but it's still marital debt, too.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Hi Karen,
One of his cars is paid off, the other we bought from a friend we owe 5500.00 on my credit card. That will be included in the refi pay offs. I know its is marital debt but I'm sure he will be upset and say that I was being manipulative by paying it off. Oh well I have to do what I have to do.
I spoke to my daughter today to make sure she was okay. She is fine. I think since she had already figured it out she has already dealt with it in her own way.
I'm planning on telling my DH in April that I want a divorce. I'm feeling anxiety about having to wait till I have things in order. I'm sure this is only the begining of the emotional rollercoaster. I am so glad that I found this board and all of the great women here. I have my close friends but it realy helps to have this board. You always say just the right things to everyone and I hope to have your wisdom someday.
Thank you.
Taylor