Update and venting

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2007
Update and venting
5
Sun, 01-07-2007 - 11:09pm
Hey there--I thought I would give an update. It's been a long week here. First the drama with the ex and then DD got the stomach flu. Ever since she told me that she wanted to go live with her dad, I've been wishing that I could've held back the tears when she was in the room--but I couldn't. Now she is needing to be close to me ALL THE TIME!! It's driving me nuts. She even cries for me in the afternoon while she's at her grandparents' house before I get home from work (she's 8). She hasn't gone through separation anxiety since 2003 when he kept her from me for three months, not allowing any physical contact and very little phone contact. She's afraid that I won't love her anymore if she makes a mistake--although I've assured her several times that I will love her no matter what happens in the future. The slightest little thing makes her cry. Things had settled down (a little) until Friday night. I had worked all day. Her dad called before we got home and left a message at home and on my cell phone. I had her call him back. I think she talked to him for MAYBE 5 minutes. Then the OW got on the phone--and started immediately pumping her for information. Did I take her to see her attorney? Had she been taking her medicine every day? What had I said about her wanting to move? Had I been talking to her about the case anymore? Trying to push the move to her dad's. It went on and on. When I started hearing the answers that DD was giving and knew she was being "pumped," I told her we had to go get her stuff from my parents' house. I gave her 2 minutes to get off the phone. After she had finished with the OW, she handed the phone back to me and told me that her dad wanted to talk to me. He asked me if I had taken her to see her atty. I told him that DD was in hearing distance and I wasn't talking about it where she could hear me. He asked me again. I gave him the same answer. He asked me again. I told him that I wasn't speaking to him about it right then, he would have to call back later. He told me that I just didn't want to talk to him about it at all. (Well, duh! That's what we have the attys for!) Then I hung up on him and we left. It made me so ticked that he would try to make me talk about the case in front of her again. We stayed at my parents' house for a short while. After I got back home before I sent her to bed, I sat down with her and apologized for my part in putting her in the middle. I told her that it wasn't right of me to do that and I was going to try not to do it again. I gave her a hug, told her I loved her, then asked her to get ready for bed. Then I stared to check my email. I have two different email addresses--a hotmail account for communication with the ex and one for everything else. When I went in to check my hotmail address it made me change my password. This told me that someone (them) is trying to break into my email account. They've done it to me before. Since I wouldn't rise to their bait, they are going to try to get their information another way. I keep a copy of every email we send back and forth. I had to move them, plus any other unrelated emails I had in there. My attorney is supposed to call me sometime this week about the depositions on Friday. When that happens, I'm filling him in. I think I'm gonna go nuts!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 5:26pm

Yikes!


I always save all important e mails on my computer... I also download all of my mail into Outlook, so it's not sitting on a remots server.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2007
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 5:47pm
I just got back from the deposition a little while ago. It took about 1 1/2 hours. During that time, they dredged up every little thing that I had supposedly done wrong. ie. switching babysitters without notifying him or discussing it with him (he lived 4 hours away at the time), the times that I wasn't able to get her medicine (he was 5 months behind on child support). Honestly, it felt more like the Spanish Inquisition. Overall, I think I did pretty well keeping my cool. I fired back with explanations that kept the heat off of me and explained the situation a little more when possible. It's kind of hard to make ends meet when you only bring home about $800 a month, have to spend almost $200 in gas alone, and still have groceries, utilities, and medicine to buy. Now, I guess it is in the hands of the GAL and God. I feel like a nervous wreck though, but I'm glad it's over with. I just hope things go my way and she isn't taken away from me. It would devastate both of us.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2007
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 5:50pm
I also get a small amount of child support, but almost all of that is used on gas. Needless to say, he makes about 6 times what I do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 6:51pm

He lived 4 hours away and he's whining about a change in sitters????


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2007
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 7:59pm
It was an intimidation effort. It always has been. He delights in watching me squirm. Over the past three years, I've developed a backbone and now the only way he can get to me is the threat of losing my daughter. I just hope I can stay strong. Lauren asked me a last weeks when she could start seeing her therapist again, so she goes next Friday. Maybe I can gain some insight on how I can help her deal with everything. In the meantime, I'm going to talk to my atty on Tuesday to get his take on everything. I'll keep you posted.