Update on bro picking son up from dc
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| Wed, 07-20-2005 - 8:56am |
OK. So ex threw a fit about my brother potentally picking our son up from day care, and subsequently watchng him for a few hours in the afternoon. Our son is 2. I feel totally confident in my brother's ability to watch him, and drive him for that matter. My brother is 19. He told me that "you can't our son's life be in the hands of a 19 year old kid".
All along (for the past 2 months) my brother has been dropping him off at day care 90% of the time. I didn't tell that to ex. Really, no need for him to know. He asked yesterday when he picked him up I guess and htey said it was always "the brother" (they think my brother is my son's brother, but whatever). . . I guess they also said that they have never seen my Mom. Total lie since she has always picked him up. Actaully I doubt they said that, he has a tendencey to lie. A lot. About a lot of things. Everything actually. Anyhow apparently he told the director that if anyone other than my mom ever tries to pick him up he is to be called immediately. He's trying to make me look like a bad parent. Lets see, I'm the one who pays for EVERYTHING (including the day care), I'm the one who clothes, feeds, bathes him ... i mean come on. She said that yes, only the people on the sheet can pick him up (me, ex, my mom, his mom) .. but no one other than that HAS ever picked him up.
He then proceded to tell me that he'd make the concession that my brother could drop him off, but NEVER pick him up, and if something EVER happened to him while my brother was driving him, he'd kill my brother and then come after me for full custody saying how poor my judgement was putting our son in harms way. Now I know that any judge in their right mind isn't going to immediately take our son away from me if my brother got into an accident. Accidents happen, right? I mean what if he got into an accident when he was with me? Or when he was with him?
Apparently (and i don't beleive this either, but whatever) he talked to his attorney last night and he told him that he can do absolutely nothing about who takes him to school ... but pick up is another story. He thinks that since we have joint legal custody that means he has a say in every little detail in his life up to and including who picks him up from school, and that he has to agree to it, or it can't happen. I don't think that's the case, but I'll let him think what he wants.
And yet, I try for us to do things together as a family sometimes ... thinking maybe, just maybe things may have a chance to work out somehow .. I guess I'm just stupid.

OK now, this is ridiculous. Now i have to call and lie to his mom (who has the car he needs to borrow to pick son up) and tell her that i have no one to pick up our son (which is untrue, my brother specifically took off work today to do it). His mom doesn't want to let him have her car again today (he had it yesterday to pick him up) ...
Arugh!
That is a huge pile of bull. My ex put our son in day care, designated his mother to pick him up, and I had absolutely no say in it. I designated a neighbor to take our daughter off the bus and he had no say. I've hired sitters. He's had the kids spend time with his girlfriend and his sister. It's all reasonable. Your brother is an adult and a relative. Your x has no right to discriminate based on the fact that he is young. Go about your business while you research this. Take care.
Edited to add: You don't have to lie to his mom. Tell her he is insisting on picking your son up even though you have a responsible adult to do it, and to use her discretion about lending him the car. You're not doing anything bad, you're just refusing to be stuck in the middle. If he wants to lie to his mother, let him do the lying. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.
Edited 7/20/2005 9:59 am ET ET by gonnabefine
He says that my brother is an irresponsbile driver. He has had one accident, but hell so I have, so has he. My brother is a hell of a lot more responsbile than people twice his age. He is in school full time (although not in the summer), works 52 hours per week .. is more financially responsible than both ex and I combined. Plus he and my son have a great relationship. I don't dare tell ex that my brother takes him to the park once a week or so.
He tells me i need to quit being so "free spirited" with our son and letting just anyone take him. Says that it's irresponsbile of me and not making good parental decesions to let my brother be in the car alone with him.
So I'm not nuts to think a judge will think HE is the whack-job for saying that my brother is no to pick him up.
klo, seriously...can't you get some free legal advice so that you can put an end to this drama?