Update - DD Came Home
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| Tue, 08-16-2005 - 9:21pm |
DD woke up at about 1030 last night crying for me. I went to her and she said can I sleep with you. Which doesn't matter to me BUT........After she kinda woke up and stopped crying I said why are you crying. She said that she cried when she was with her dad at night because "MY DAD AND **** AND THE BABY WERE ALL ON THE BED AND I HAD TO SLEEP ON THE FLOOR. I CRIED AND TOLD MY DAD WHY CAN'T I GET UP ON THE BED TOO AND HE SAID THERE ISN'T ENOUGH ROOM NOW BE QUIET BECAUSE **** AND THE BABY ARE SLEEPING"
I WAS P****D!!!! I kept my compsure and assured her that she wouldn't have to do that again. She said not all the nights did she have to sleep on the floor but that after she cried for a little bit her dad went downstairs and came back up and layed on the floor with her.
1. This isn't his home. It is his address but his sisters home. There are 4 bedrooms. His sis is married and she has 3 kids of her own and my X and his girly friend sleep in one room when she comes to stay. She doesn't have a home either.
2. I told the friend of the court about this living situation back in January and he didn't seem to care. Everyone is telling me that he is supposed to have a bed for her. Well didn't matter here in my county.
3. I could of called X and chewed him out (actually I cried) because only if it was for one night to tell my DD to sleep on the floor like a damn dog is not acceptable. If there isn't room for all of you - not that I want my DD to sleep with them then NOBODY sleeps in teh damn bed!!! But my DD is 5yr and she sees her 1/2 sis getting attention I think she wants some too. But don't you ever treat my kid like a dog!!!
I will wait until X calls for DD and then I will talk to him about this incident and tell him he better get her a bed!!!
I have learned to get composed and don't speak out of anger. I believe my daughter!!!

Hugs....
gosh....
Well, I can only say this. I had this problem too when my kids started visiting XH and OW's apartment. My son slept on the floor with the dog.
My son told me this in passing and I was LIVID. I used to send my kids over there with everything they needed, for fear if I didn't they would not get taken care of like a child should be taken care of. That includes sleeping arrangements.
They lived in a 2 bedroom apartment, why couldn't the kids sleep in the spare room? Because they had a roomie, that's why.....
Then court finally came around last summer. Until then, there was nothing I could have done to change the sleeping arrangements. Our first court date, the court referee told my ex that he has until X date to get a car seat and necessary items to take care of our them baby daughter. AND he was to find sleeping accomodations for both children NOT to be on the floor, with the dog.
WHY would this be acceptable in your county? I would make a call on this one. NO WAY is that acceptable. There should be
It's amazing how different different municipalities interpret and act on the laws of the state. Where I lived with my children, the state law was very clear about neglect and emotional abuse. It was also very specific about physical abuse. This is in Oregon.
In the Portland area, if a parent neglects thier child, the child is removed. This means that when xh was not taking my dd to the doc when she was very ill and having severe asthma, she would have been taken from him and brought to me.
In southern Oregon, the child has to be on death's doorstep, and, even then, it is difficult to get action.
In the Portland area, if a parent is being belittled, intimidated, etc., the child is removed. This means that when xh made my ds so scared that my ds called me on the phone when xh was yelling at dd's, they would have been taken from him and brought to me.
In southern Oregon, no child is ever removed for emotional abuse.
In Portland, if a child is left with bruises from a spanking, the child is removed.
In southern Oregon, when my children were left with bruises from spankings, it was a "grey area" and no action was taken.
To top it off, in Portland, there is a program in which an entire unit of people in CSD work towards ending child abuse in the schools.
In southern Oregon, when my ds was given a bloody nose by a teacher who threw him into a corner so hard that he hit his nose on the wall, nothing was done.
In southern Oregon, if a child is sexually abused by a woman's boyfriends, the child is only removed until the bf is not living in the house. If a child is sexually abused by a teenage cousin, the parents are told that the children can not be left alone together. That's it.
So, it makes a HUGE difference where you live.