update from earlier post things are wors
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update from earlier post things are wors
| Wed, 05-17-2006 - 10:26pm |
dd and I went to church tonight and when I got home there was a message from her honors pre calc teacher that she flunked a test and hasnt turned in her homework for the chapter plus there is a 100 point test tomorrow that she told me that I really need to encourage her to study for.I knew about none of this.I ask her about how she is doing in class all the time and she says she is doing fine.I cant believe she is lying about all of this too.I have told her several times that if she has any problems to let me know and we will get a tutor.We had to do this earlier in the year because she had mono and missed a lot of school.When I asked why she didnt tell me she was having trouble she blew up and started saying that she has tried to tell everybody she is dumb and shouldnt be in these classes.I cant believe this is happening this divorce has taken her from an a student to flunking and completely ruined her self esteem.Does divorce effect all kids this way I really thought things wouldnt be this way since all stbx and I did was fight and she was always saying why dont you guys just get a divorce.I did call my insurance and find out that deduct has been met so they have ok 20 sessions for her and they will only be $10 each instead of $100.I thought she would be more comfortable with a woman but there isnt one covered in my insurance network.I called and they said that there is a really good man in our network so now im just waiting for his call back to set up an appt. at this point I would pay $100 if it will help.I also said earlier that we were thinking about moving and dd reallt wants to she says she wants a new start but I dont see how moving will help I think she is just running from her problems.PLEASE HELP I dont know what to do about anything I feel like I have lost control

I'm glad that you're making progress with the counseling thing.... that's a good path to take and will give your daughter a neutral 3rd party to talk to.
However... don't be too quick to pin all of this on the divorce.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
The counseling is a GREAT first step to help your DD.
Also, Karen is right. The teen years are hard, regardless if your parents are divorced or not. A couple of marking periods ago, my son's grades took a slight dip. However, they went right back
My daughter does the same thing when she is confronted. I think it is kind of a defense mechanism. Last week we got our cell phone bill- she spent 669 minutes (I added them up!) talking to some kid ( I hope) clear across the country. When we confronted her, she initially lied and said her friend had borrowed her phone. For 669 minutes-I highly doubt it! I asked who she was talking to-she said it was a relative of one of her friends. Then the truth came out that it was someone she met while playing Yahtzee on-line. She swears it was nothing, but if it was so innocent why did she have to lie? (BTW-my husband (her stepfather) found evidence last year of inappropriate behavior while she was on-line. She insists she knows what she did was wrong & dangerous, but now I am not so sure.)
My husband and I both detest lying, so we brought this up in family counseling last week. After the counselor left she was all mopey and she was scribbling on a piece of paper. She was writing things like “dumb”, “stupid”, “ugly”. She said it was how she felt about herself, but I think maybe she was just trying to defuse the situation with her lying by making us feel sorry for her. She is a drama queen!
With regards to counseling, our family counselor is provided by our county. It is no cost to us, AND he comes to our home. I do have really good insurance, but this is something my son’s school set up. I also have resources available to me through my work whereby any member of my family can call for anything they are trying to cope with. I am not sure if you have anything like that available to you.
My daughter also talks about moving. She says she doesn’t like the girls at her school. I keep telling her that she only has a few years left and they will probably be out of her life forever. I don’t want her to run away from her problems.
HUGS! This sounds like it could be bordering on an emergency situation. If you truly feel your daughter may do something to harm herself (and a mother's instinct is usually very good), do not hesitate to take her to the hospital. Did the counselor get back to you about her appointment yet?
I will tell you this, my parents are together, and I had VERY difficult teenage years. At times I became depressed, suicidal, etc. So while it is not "normal" behavior, per se, it is something many teens go through - if their parents are married or not. So don't beat yourself up about this. You're doing what you can to get her help.
Follow me to my partner in the siggy exchange....
Hugs, Brenda
Hugs, Brenda