UPDATE - GF spanking DD AGAIN
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 09-01-2007 - 11:41am |
Yesterday (Friday) was the last time that DD had to go with XH and GF for summer parentingin time (every other week). My sister picks up DD (XH and sis live in same town and 1hr away from me) plus it works that I don't have to deal with XH. That said....
someof you know that XH said that nothing would happen to DD anymore and I told him or else throw me in jail for contempt of not letting you have her because I won't allow her to go with you anymore.
So I always call DD on sis cell phone when she picks her up because I miss her and love her. So i called her and she DD was just talking very very monotone. Then she was not her usual self and then she said that she was sick and had been puking at her dads and didn't feel very well. She has allergies so no biggie. Well normally she stays (because she loves my niece) with my sister until early Sunday morning when I go get her because with me she just has no one to play with in the neighborhood.
So I am still at work and my cell phone rings and my sister says "Either you do something right now or I am getting in my car and going over there?!!!" I hear my DD crying and I am like WTF is going on!!! Sister tells me she got DD to her house and she went into my sister's bedroom and then she could hear her crying so my sister told her what was wrong and DD told her that GF got after her again. So I told sister put her on the phone (DD is 7yr).
DD tells me uncontrollably crying that GF got after her again. I said calm down and tell me slowly. She said that she (dd) was sitting watching tv with GF, XH, little sister and herself. She said XH went upstairs to go to the bathroom and GF says to my DD "i bet this is all you do when you are at your mom's is sit around and watch tv?" DD says "no we do other things." GF said "when I was little (she is 26 so what 5 years ago?) I couldn't sit around and just watch tv..." grabbed dd by her arm and flung her on the couch and DD has asthma and she got scared and couldn't breathe. when XH came downstairs he asked why she was cryng and DD said i couldnt talk mom I was cryihg and GF said "she was running around and fell." Then when DD was talking to me she started crying even more and said "i couldn't tell my dad that she was lying." I told DD (i was full or rage!!!!!) I saw RED literally literally and typing this now I still do. I EVEN TOLD XH I HOPE THIS IS BEING RECORDED BECAUSE I WILL KILL YOU AND I WILL KILL HER FOR WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO MY DD!!!! I said you will NEVER EVER get in trouble for telling the truth NEVER and I WILL HANDLE THIS - I AM YOUR MOM AND I WILL HANDLE THIS WITH YOUR DAD NOT THE GF!!!! I told DD that i loved her and was a good girl.
I immediately called cell phone (that belongs to GF because XH's is disconnected) I was hoping that her a** answered but XH did. I went off and I screamed and cussed and I threatened and then I cried and cried NOT BECAUSE I AM A WUSS but because my DD needed someone there to be her protector and she had noone. XH NEVER got lippy with me NEVER and before (not last time we talked) but the first time we talked about this was last fall and he was very lippy and saying Whatever Yeah OK yup your always right very sarcastic. Not this time. I told him that I can't count on him to take care of our DD financially (he pays no child support even though it is ordred), supposed to pay some of her doctor bills (she has lots), school functions etc....I said but in my heart of the person that I had this child with that person years ago I knew that person would protect my DD and make sure she was safe when she was with him and you failed her. She is willing to go through and feel like crap when she is with you just so she can see her dad and this is what you show her? I told him NO MORE!!! Take me to jail - go get your friend's mom who is a lawyer and take me to jail for contempt of court not allowing her to go with I DONT' GIVE A %$#@!!!! I am not sending her with you anymore for her to be treated this way. XH never said "you can't do that, she is mine too, etc.." he said very calmly "I dont' want her to come if she feels scared too." I told him he was pathetic because you should say "Oh heck nah - its ending right here I will be there for my DD somethig be a man!!! be a father!!!" I told him what my DD and I when she is with me is NONE OF YOUR PEOPLE's ^%$%&%$ business. Just like whatever yiou guys do is not any of mine. Then he said something peculiar "I told her (GF?) I watched tv when I was growing up and what was the big deal?" So see why I dont' believe him and I do my DD. Last time GF made a comment about DD having a TRAC phone with 15mins on it that I bought for $7. That I PAY FOR. I have no idea why a 7yr should have a cell phone and on and on WHO CARES WHAT YOU THINK DID YOU BUY IT??!!! NO. SO WHAT SHUT THE ^%&%$ UP!!! Fighting wit a 7yr old that is very mature. But in the middle of the conversation I know my DD so I said I will NOT keep her from you I will NOT deny her father from her because I know she loves you but I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO TAKE HER AROUND THAT &%%^#$%$(*()* if you have to she can go to ONE of his sister's houses and stay there with her because I said that I trusted that sister in particular. (Even though his 4 sisters have NEVER EVER HIT HER OR SCREAMED AT HER EVER or my two sisters or oldest nieces) XH said that he would probably be moving out to his sisters. I dont' care if he lives on the street with my DD (wel I do but you guys get the point).
My friend is a Social Worker and I am meeting with her on Thursday (that is the soonest) I can get together with her and I am going to have her take statements from DD and she is going to write it up so it doesn't sound like it is vindictive from XW. I will send a copy of it to the Friend of the Court and I would really like to have XH sign it so that it shows I am not just keeping her from him. He has been with this girl almost 3 years since DD was 3/12 going on 4. Why would I now what to start crap? I trust my DD 100% and she isn't saying just because she wants to. By law my friend regardless that she knows me if DD tells her anything she has to report it.
I did tell XH she wasn't going with her until as much as I HATE him HATE until the 3 (DD, him and I) sit down and talk it out so he can hear her tell the things that she is scared to tell him and we can talk it out so that we can make a plan on what or where he will hold visitation with her. He agreed. I will meet with him for our DD.
When I called DD back and told her that she wouldnt' have to go over to her dad's anymore with GF she started crying and said "but I want to see my dad" I said I know honey you will see your dad but you will see him at your aunt's house and she said but I cry there to because my dad doesn't stay with me and I want to see him. I said no your dad will stay there with you and maybe even your bro and sis will come too. DD did 360 degree turn around and said "GREAT!!!!"
I was so exhausted last night I couldn't even talk about it, I couldn't sleep, eat, nothing. I have to work today and just can't function. I called DD today and she is happy as a lark. Oh and the other thing is that DD told me on the phone that when she was first telling me of her getting tossed on the couch that she had puked for like 3-4 days at night time and she couldn't eat. She told that to me the last time she went with her dad and when she gets back with me or my sister she never pukes. I am thinking she was just so nervous to be there and uncomfortable that she was puking. Sister said she slept from 10 p.m. last night until 10 a.m this morning. Ate a big breakfast and was running with my niece outside. No my DD wouldn't be just saying this because she wants DD to not be with GF. She has never said that. She has never asked if DD and I would ever get together again. So she isn't playing games. I believe my DD.
I will post again after I talk with my SW friend. If you have lasted this long reading I thank you so much. I just want my DD to feel safe and loved. She is a loveable girl she truly is!!!!

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
for your input I truly appreciate it.